Jill's Quill

New Year, New Post

2012-01-02T15:21:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I've been a little busy the past year and two months since my last post.

Awesome stuff that has happened:

decided to pursue becoming a music teacher and managed to make it happen! Best move for me, ever.
fantastic new friends and experiences with them.
working full time...and really enjoying it.
kids are great. Trevor and Amy are at the lovely gangly stage of tweenness where they are all long-limbed and horse-toothed, but don't smell like adolescence yet. Gavin is 2.5 (what?!), almost potty trained, talking up a storm in Spanish and English and I can actually understand him 80% of the time!
just got back from Mexican vacation where I got to spend a ton of time with my family and fell in love with all of them all over again.
wicked New Year's dance party at our house!

Sucky stuff:

my dad is not well, neither is my grandpa.
I'm worried about my mom (see above).
even though I love the direction my career has taken, I may have lost a friend as a result.
weight gain - UGH!! The bane of my existence. Stupid wine and pasta.

All in all, my life has been clicking along pretty nicely, but since learning about my dad's illness, I've been in a bit of funk. I've always found writing helps me get my head sorted out. Or at least vent.

So, it's a new year, time to dive back into the madness of our family schedule while still finding some time to focus on me so I don't totally lose myself in the frenzy.

In the meantime, here are some of the latest pix:

Crafty for a Cause

2010-10-20T20:24:00.000-07:00

I am not crafty. I am a good starter of projects, jumping in with gusto...and then. The glue oozes where it isn't supposed to and then I lose patience and measure haphazardly, and whatever I'm making ends up lopsided. And tossed aside.

I should also mention that I got tossed out of Grade 8 sewing. The small bit of my apron that I had managed to put together was looking rather asymmetrical and then I broke a sewing machine. My teacher sent me to the library to do a book report instead.

That's why I am totally amazed that I managed to make something useful and actually kind of cute!

I got invited to join a facebook group devoted to creating little, purple, knitted or crocheted baby caps to be sent out to new mothers along with a DVD outlining "The Period of PURPLE Crying." PURPLE is an acronym for:

Peak of crying
Unexpected
Resists soothing
Pain-like face
Long lasting
Evening

...and the whole point of the program is to prevent shaken baby syndrome.

When I first saw the facebook page I glossed over it thinking that I had nothing to offer, and then I saw a post with a link to a "super easy pattern anyone could do." How could I resist an invitation like that, especially during the summer when I had a little extra time?

So I got a crochet hook and some beautiful, soft, purple baby yarn, fired up "how to crochet" on YouTube, and here is the result.

As a group, they remain lopsided, but taken individually, they're pretty cute. The one on the top right will be just right for someone's preemie.

If you're interested in participating, hats can be dropped off until November 22.

A Bad Case of Busy-itis

2010-10-14T21:06:00.000-07:00

Look at me, three posts in one week?! Who do I think I am??

I just came across this post by Megan Francis about people who go around citing their laundry list of daily activities in an effort to sound busy/useful/productive but actually come across as self-absorbed and whiny. Because everyone is busy, why waste time one-upping each other over who is the busiest, right?

In reading this post, I realized I have had busy-itis in a bad way this fall. People who innocently ask me, "how's it going?" are just making chit-chat, but for some reason I find myself listing off all the craziness of our family schedule when a simple, "Fine, thanks, how are you?" would have sufficed.

I think part of the reason I keep doing this is because I cannot possibly hold all of the Google Calendar information for our family in our head for more than one day at a time, and my compulsion to recite the day's activities to anyone who will listen is really just an effort to try to keep track of everything I am supposed to be doing. You know, the way someone might repeat a phone number several times outloud in order to try to memorize it.... What, not everyone does that? Must just be me.

Anecdote to illustrate my point...Two days ago, Dave suggested we should all go to an upcoming hockey game on the weekend. I said sure. I didn't actually enter it on the calendar, he did, therefore it didn't enter my consciousness and wouldn't until Saturday morning when I scanned the calendar for the weekend of nuttiness. In the meantime, I got called to work at my second job because the Whitecaps are still in the playoffs. I panicked and made the fatal mistake of agreeing to take a shift without first consulting the calendar. Really, by now I should know better. Of course they conflict.

And of course, I realized the problem this evening when Dave, completely out of the blue, asked if we were still good to go to the game on the weekend. When I grimaced and said that I had mistakenly agreed to take a shift, the look on his face was of utter disappointment and irritation with having been saddled with such a space cadet.

Anyway, clearly I actually AM too busy...I can hardly keep things straight anymore. This has become my whole life and it's way out of whack. Time to start moving toward a lifestyle where I can honestly answer, "Fine," when someone asks how things are going.

Five Family Pictures

2010-10-11T20:31:00.001-07:00

Here are five family pictures from the past several months that are some of my favourites. Actually, the real reason I am posting them is so that Trevor can use this for his school project...hope it works!

Dave, Amy, and Trevor on their way to the Women's Gold Medal hockey game.

Jill, Amy, and Trevor before the game.

Amy and Grandma McQueen, the Canucks fans.

Grandpa McQueen's birthday party, May 2010

Gavin at 16 months (August 2010)

Non-Beige Food

2010-10-11T18:16:00.000-07:00

First, clearly, I can only do this about once a month these days. Like on a long weekend, because by the time I find time to actually write and post something the siren song of sleep beckons and wins. Since it's a long weekend I actually have 20 extra minutes, so here goes.

AMY ATE KALE!!!! Of all the non-beige things to eat, I can't believe it was kale which is basically a headless, curly form of cabbage. Not sweet potatoes or mild carrots. Kale.

I am new to kale myself and am trying to become a lover of it because it's good for you, not because I adore the taste so much. I didn't grow up eating it or watching my mom cook it so I had no idea what to do with it when I brought it home from the grocery store. I googled "kale recipes" and came across this little gem for something called kale chips.

Kale Chips:

1 bunch of kale

1 -2 tbsp. olive oil

seasoning salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Spread the olive oil around on a cookie sheet. Wash the kale and tear the curly bits from the stalk. Dry the pieces thoroughly (this is very important!!). Smoosh the kale around in the olive oil and spread evenly over cookie sheet. Sprinkle liberally with your favourite seasoning salt. Bake at 350 for about 15 minutes...it will feel and sound crispy to the touch when it's done.

There are several variations out there on the internet, this one was one of the simpler ones.

Kale. It's a miracle.

Jumping Back into School

2010-09-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

This was originally part of a post I did last year on Back to School after watching my friends agonizing over their children's classroom placements. Hope it provides some helpful information.

... the beginning of September can be a really stressful time for a lot of families. This was really driven home to me this week as I watched my own kids and their friends begin the school year. So much worry! Uh-oh, my kid is in the job share class. Uh-oh, my kid is in a split class. Uh-oh, my kid is not with her friend this year. Uh-oh, my kid is in with the "dim" Grade 2's, does that mean he's "dim," too?I'm in an interesting position as both a parent and a teacher. I find myself making the same reassurances to my friends as I do to the parents of my students. So here is a summary of those reassurances that I hope will set parents' minds at ease:

1. Combined classes are not a bad thing. Notice I used the word combined and not split. Within any given group of children, you have a wide ranges of strengths and talents in a variety of different areas. Whether the children all have their birthday in one calendar year or the next doesn't make much difference to this range (this has always seemed like such an arbitrary division to me, but that's a subject for another blog post). Teachers teach children, not curriculum. In 10 years of teaching, I've yet to meet a teacher who teaches the children in a combined class differently based on the grade they are in. Teachers so their best to meet each child where they are and design instruction that best meets their needs. If anything, the advantage of combined classes is that there is usually a range of maturity that affords children a chance to be role models and learn from each other. Further, having combined classes allows schools to group children together to their advantage, and separate children who need to be apart from each other.

2. If your child is in the upper grade of a combined class, it does not mean that the school thinks they are "dim." I sometimes wish parents could see the process involved in loading classes. It's incredibly complex and usually begins the spring before the beginning of the following school year. We take into account balancing of gender, special needs, ESL, behaviour, friend groups that are socially supportive and should stay together, friend groups that are negative and should be separated for a year, school district staffing allocations, educational assistants and where they can be of maximum effectiveness. There are usually at least four or five different configurations proposed and debated before the staff and principal finally come to an agreement about the best one and can officially organize the school (in my district this does not happen until the first Monday of the school year). If your child is in a combined class, there were probably several reasons why he or she was placed there. If you have concerns about it, the very best thing to do is to have a conversation with the teacher about it...hopefully they can ease your concerns. If you still have them, then at least you've begun a dialogue about it and hopefully the school will work with you to resolve the situation.

3. Having teachers who job share usually works out just fine. Okay, I'm a little biased on this one having been in a fantastic job sharing situation for the past seven years...I've also dealt with this concern A LOT! Most parents are concerned about two things: a) the teachers are only part time, therefore, they are not fully committed to the job at hand, and b) it's confusing and inconsistent for the children to have two teachers. To the former concern, let me assure you that in all the teachers I've ever known who job share, they put way more effort in than their allotted percentage of the position. One principal I know used to say that she really loved having job shares on her staff because you ended up with way more than 1.0 FTE's worth of contribution to the staff and school community. To the latter concern, I can only think of one child out of the 24x7=168 or so that I've taught where he perhaps may have been better off in a situation with one single teacher. Kids work with all kinds of different adults in their lives (parents, coaches, childcare providers) and even within the school often have at least one other "specialist" teacher. They usually adjust to each of these adults' expectations for behaviour based on whatever context they're in. I can't speak for every job share situation, but certainly in mine and those of my close colleagues, we're in frequent communication about classroom issues to ensure that we're being consistent in our philosophy and practice. One added benefit of having your child in a class with a job share is that the children get to work with people who may have different strengths; for instance, I am passionate about teaching science in a very hands-0n way (more than my partner), and she is passionate about developing social responsibility through her personal planning and social studies lessons (fantastically, I might add). Plus, we always have someone to bounce ideas off and brainstorm with who knows the workings of our classroom and students inside-out. There are also advantages to having a single teacher; one situation isn't necessarily better than the other, they're just a bit different.

4. Your school is there to help support your child's learning journey, and that includes your input. You are your child's first educator. Of course you know them better than anyone. Parental input is crucial, and most teachers and principals welcome you it. With email, teachers are more accessible than ever these days. I routinely give out my cell phone number and email address to the parents in my class just in case they have a class-related question and it's never been a problem yet. I would never want a child to go to be worried about something that could have been cleared up with a quick phone call at 8:30 pm. A word of advice, though, 9:00 am drop-off time is not a good time to start having a conversation with the teacher as we're usually about to start the important work of providing an excellent program for your kids!

So take a deep breath and head into the school year expecting the best. Chances are your child will follow your lead and it will be a great one.

I'm Ba-a-a-ck!

2010-09-06T20:58:00.001-07:00

What?! You mean, when you have a blog you're actually supposed to post stuff on it? Oh, ok...
Summer is drawing to a close, the weather is gray and rainy again, and it's back-to-school tomorrow. You would think that with all my free time this summer I would have been posting at least daily. Turns out, I need the routine of the school year/month/week/day in order to give my life structure. Without it, I revert to being a lazy 15 year old who would lie around and do nothing all summer, except crack open a cheesy novel. If my kids would ever let me have two minutes to myself, that is.

I have many posts floating around in my head as I write this, but I don't want to outline them all here or you might not come back to read me again. I'll start with the first one that comes to mind.

Gavin's speech....he's 17 months old and his vocabulary consists of grunts, squeals, screeches, cooing and the words "mum," and "mama." He kind of makes a sheep noise while waving which is getting closer to "bye." His noises are inflected in much the same way as speech is, but there are not a whole lot of words happening yet. I am not one for getting all wrapped up in development charts generally, and I know the kid is totally bright. He somehow manages to make himself mostly understood in spite of his limited vocabulary! But we are coming up on 18 months and I am getting a little concerned. I am hoping that one day soon he will wake up and say, "Mother, I am absolutely famished this morning, could you please whip up some pancakes with extra syrup?" or something equally articulate. I think I was a bit of a late talker, too....Mom, can you help me out here?

In the meantime, most of our conversations lately go something like this (only with him head butting me or hanging off my leg to get my attention):

The other day I rounded on him and growled, "Ok look, you seriously need to learn to talk because this is way too frustrating for both of us!"
Not my most shining moment as a parent.

I'll let you know when he starts spouting paragraphs.

I must be doing something right.

2010-07-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

My daughter, Amy, is a famously picky eater. Most of the time I let it slide, try to make sure there is at least one thing in our dinner she will eat, and if she chooses not to she has to wait until the next meal or snack time. Occasionally, though, we butt heads and though I know intellectually I will never win, my ego has me digging in my heels in a battle of wills with my six year old. Ridiculous, but true.

Yesterday I made a delicious pork tenderloin with grilled veggies served on a bed of spinach. I knew she wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole, so I made chicken quesadillas for the kids. Whole wheat tortilla, a bit of pizza sauce (nice and bland), some shredded chicken, and mozzarella cheese. These are the exact same ingredients as her all-time favourite dinner, tortilla cheese pizza, except for the addition of chicken and the fact that it was folded in half. She whined, turned up her nose at it, nibbled a corner like it was made of lead laced with rat poison, and declared she wouldn't be eating dinner. I responded that I was not going to make her anything else, she could pick out the chicken if she didn't like it, and that she didn't have to like it in order to eat it. Line drawn in sand.

Trevor ate his up. Gavin ate his dinner. Since the grandparents were over, I got a little ice cream cone for Gavin knowing how cute it is when he tries to feed himself. Trevor said, "Can I have some ice cream?" I said, "Sure." Amy said, "Can I have some ice cream?" I said, "Sure, after you finish your quesadilla." (I know, I know you're not supposed to withhold dessert, but this child would live on ice cream and cookies given the speck of a chance). Trevor looked at her, knowing full well she was not going to let that quesadilla pass her lips. Then he turned to me and said, "That's ok, I don't want any ice cream. Amy won't get any and it will make her sad."

What do you know, I guess I am doing something right after all.

Summer Job

2010-07-15T13:22:00.000-07:00

Being a teacher, I have always loved having my summers off. I do not , however, love not getting paid in the summer and having to either pay for childcare that I don't need and/or spending all day with my kids. Every day. 24 hours a day.

This year is the first year we've had to pay for childcare over the summer. My nanny is totally worth it because she is WONDERFUL, but it sure puts a dent in my wallet, especially coming off mat leave. So I decided that since I have her around anyway, why not get out of the house and make a little extra money this summer. No one was more surprised than me to find out that I actually really like getting out of the house to do something different. And to get paid for it, as opposed to parenting (which may actually cost me my sanity).

I have two jobs this year. Job #1 is working at a concession stand at the Vancouver Whitecaps games. It's decent money and super-easy (if busy) work, the shifts are not too long and it's usually when Dave is home anyway. When I told Amy and Trevor about it, they thought it sounded like I get to work in paradise! Popcorn! Candy! Chocolate bars! Ice cream! Pop! Slushies! Chips! They can't wait to come and visit me while I work!

Job#2 is putting to good use all those years of education - I'm doing some tutoring. Right now I have two students I work with. It's so different than teaching a large group, I'm enjoying being able to work one-on-one with kids and can already see what a difference it is making for them.

I think I'm just tired of being home...all those years working 0.5 interspersed with various maternity leaves...I'm just feeling like I've been wanting more, and now I'm in a childcare situation that allows me to do more. For that I am grateful, and a happy me makes for a better mom.

Adventures in Sleeping

2010-07-05T11:44:00.000-07:00

My favourite topic: sleep. Or lack of it.

My once perfectly perfect sleeping baby has fallen apart. First there was the separation anxiety episode of November/December. We weathered that and eventually got back on track. Then the teeth started to come along and we've been off the rails ever since. Gavin is up pretty much every night at around 2:00. I don't think he's hungry because he isn't nursing voraciously, just pacifiying, really. Actually, I think he just wants to visit with me. I've tried cuddling with him to settle him back down but he flops around like he's trying to get comfortable and can't. Or he does drift off but wakes up as soon as I try to put him back in the crib. If I bring him into our bed he just flops around in there keeping both Dave and I awake.

My latest strategy involves grumpily telling him that it's time for sleep and hustling him off downstairs (to the basement) where he settles down in the playpen. And settle he does! Maybe two squawks and it's off to dreamland. But I hate doing that because it's so far away from our bedroom floor and I don't think it's really promoting good sleep habits for him. Plus I end up on the couch so I'm not so far away from him and now my neck is sore.

At least at our house we have a buffer floor between the squawking and the sleeping. Last night we stayed in Birch Bay. My f-i-l's house has paper thin walls and the other Schweitzers were down here, too, so I was particularly sensitive to Gavin's noise level. He absolutely wouldn't settle down in the play pen after 2:00 am, so I brought him to bed with me. Amy had also crawled into bed with me, so of course he headbutted her in all his flopping around and then I had two crying kids at 3:00 am. Fun times.

Dave, having to work this morning, wisely decided to go home to sleep and avoid all this chaos. Smart guy.

Whaaa?!

2010-05-27T20:49:00.000-07:00

So you can already guess what this post is about.

We awoke Monday morning at the crack of dawn (about 5:00 am) to the loud, raucous cawing of crows outside the window. Right outside the window. Really, obnoxiously loud. I buried my head in the pillow and tried to ignore it until Dave finally got up and stomped over to my side of the bed to slam the window shut. This afforded us enough peace and quiet that we both fell back asleep. Until....

6:00 am. I opened my eyes because something woke me up. But what was it? Hmmm. Footsteps on the roof? Must be those damn crows again. I got up for a drink of water and laid back down ready to try to sleep again, when I heard it. Scratching and footsteps on the drywall ceiling over my head. I froze in denial that I had actually heard anything, my eyeballs darting back and forth as though that would help me to hear better. Nothing. Ok, phew, it was just my imagination. I closed my eyes and...scratch scratch in the wall, right behind my head. I jumped about five feet in the air and landed at the end of the bed facing the wall and my very irritated husband who had slept through the initial scratching and had no idea why I did a round-off back handspring from the bed to wake him up at 6:02 am on a holiday Monday. I made him listen for it, and we both headed downstairs to try to nap in peace, quiet and more denial.

At this point we still weren't sure what it was. Bigger than a mouse? Probably. A rat? Yeesh, I sure hoped not. Squirrel? Raccoon? Couldn't be a raccoon though, how in the world would it have gotten in?

Dave lost the coin toss to decide who would have to poke their head up into the attic to investigate. He popped the hatch and couldn't see anything (thankfully) so I very helpfully offered to tap our bedroom wall to see if he could see anything moving...you know, just to piss off whatever was up there. He still couldn't see anything, but I sure could hear it moving! Eventually I could hear it walking on the soffit outside our bedroom window, so I kept tapping along to wall trying to scare it back the way it came. Dave went outside to see if he could see it come out. I peeked back out the window at him and he motioned for me to come out and see. Sure enough, a raccoon was making its way along our roof line over to some hedges that I never would have guessed would be close enough for a raccoon to bridge the distance. I was wrong.

I know, right? You're thinking, it probably had babies up there. After much Wile E. Coyote type plans to seal off the house from ever being able to be penetrated by such pests again, I decided to call an animal control company and boy was I glad we did. Had we sealed it up and there were babies, the raccoon would have torn 10 more holes in the roof to get in. So the company came out, cleaned up the attic, found that (thankfully) there were no babies, and sealed it all up for us. We're getting the hedges trimmed, too. And that should be the end of the raccoon visitors.

Until they find my vegetable garden...

Career Revelations...

2010-05-15T21:05:00.000-07:00

So I've been teaching 0.5 for the past 7 years - give or take - with mat leaves interspersed along the way. Things have been humming along nicely and I couldn't have fathomed that any big changes would come my way.

Then my childcare situation changed after I returned to work this Spring from my mat leave with Gavin. After settling on a lovely nanny after our unfortunate first experience. We now have an excellent nanny with whom I feel completely comfortable leaving the kids. The thing is, she wants to work more than 3 days per week. So I thought, well, maybe I could work a little more, too. As I toyed with the idea, I was surprised to find myself feeling a little excited about the possibility.

I made a couple of calls and lined up an extra day each week doing a job share mat leave starting in September. Then I got to thinking about summer coming up with no income in sight and thought, what the heck, I might as well do some TOC-ing (teacher-on-call) to make up some full time hours to help bridge the summer gap in employment. I don't have much TOC experience at all having fluked into a classroom position almost immediately after starting my career, so I was a little bit nervous about going to other classrooms, especially intermediate classes.

On Thursday I TOC'd in a Grade 7 (?!) class and I absolutely LOVED IT! I had to relearn how to convert repeating decimals into fractions, but aside from that it was a great day. The kids were so different than primary kids in so many ways, but in some they were still just like little kids in great big bodies. Then I worked on Friday in a 3/4 at my school and it was really fun because I had taught all of the kids except for 3 at some point in their Grade 1, 2, or 3 years and we were all excited to see each other again.

This week was my first week of working full time in 7 years. I expected to come home on Friday absolutely wiped out and resentful of the time spent away from my family. I was completely shocked to find myself full of energy and pumped up about teaching for the first time in quite a few years. I feel invigorated about the new challenges, and at the same time grateful to be able to return to my "home base" classroom on Monday morning. I'm tired but satisfied when I get home from work and quite frankly, I feel like my kids appreciate me a bit more when I've been away.

I have a few things working in my favour that not every working mom has: 1. Teachers have (usually) the same vacation time as their kids, so I don't have to schlep them off to a series of very expensive day camps and/or day care in the summer or during winter/spring breaks.
2. I have a wonderful nanny who takes great care of my kids and the house so I come home to an orderly house with happy children. I've always joked that I need a wife, and she basically is doing that job!
3. I have the flexibility to work almost as much or as little as suits my family at a given time. There aren't many careers that have the flexibility that teaching offers, and I think it forces many women to make an all-or-nothing choice that leaves them wanting.

I'm now seriously considering the possibility of working close to full-time hours next year. I'll be 0.7 at minimum, and maybe even 0.9 or 1.0 with TOC days. I'm sure this won't be the last post on this subject....

What about you? How do you balance work and family, and what has shaped the choices you've made in this area?

Mother's Day

2010-05-09T08:29:00.001-07:00

I can't believe how different this Mother's Day is than last year. Last year, to put it bluntly, sucked the big one. I was 5 weeks post-partum and the Prozac hadn't begun to kick in yet, still crying at least once an hour. Add that to an emotionally charged day full of unrealistic expectations, a tired, over-scheduled husband also feeling the weight of those expectations, me having to nurse a baby and an electric breast pump every 2.5 hours, and two older kids scrambling to make sure they still had my affection. It all imploded by 1:30 pm and I literally ran away from it all to my own Mom's house to cry on her shoulder for a couple of hours. Days like Mother's Day should be totally optional for families in the kind of transition that we were last year.

Fast forward a year, and my how things have changed! We are still in the midst of transitions galore, but I feel like I have some degree of choice in the matter so it's all so much more manageable. We are settling in with our new and wonderful nanny who will be with us for at least the next couple of years; she is great with the kids and I feel completely confident leaving Gavin with her during the day. I've returned to my part-time teaching job and am enjoying it so much that I have decided to take on some more on-call work this year as well as an extra day next year. I'm even looking at doing some part-time work over the summer for a bit of extra cash and something to do outside the home.

As a family we have all made our own adjustments to our new normal. And because we are more relaxed about the way things are, I don't feel the pressure of living up to those greeting card expectations about Mother's Day this year. So I stayed in bed for 10 extra minutes this morning reading my book (which I almost never get to do these days), I had my toast and water in bed with Amy, and cherished the gifts the kids both made for me at school. I'm going to take in a movie with my mom and my daughter this afternoon, too. I don't expect to be waited on hand and foot all day because that's just not how we roll around here.

And I wouldn't change my family or my Mother's Day for the world.

Smelly Boys

2010-05-05T21:17:00.000-07:00

My boys are smelly. Not all the time, mind you, but man oh man the two of them can get pretty funky.

Gavin has an excuse, that whole still in diapers and my mom feeds me prunes things. It'll make anyone smelly. Easily fixed with a bath and fresh diaper.

Trevor, though...hmmm. Eight year old boys who eat, sleep and breathe hockey and lacrosse (often on the same day) become especially sweaty and crusty, and, well, smelly. Add NHL playoff games and highlights that simply must be watched on TV (while eating his eighth meal of the day because the kid is starving after all that activity) and it doesn't leave much time for bathing.

Today I noticed a funky smell coming from beside me on the couch as we watched the first period of the Canucks game. I could actually see the sticky, grimy layer on Trevor's hands, gunk under his toenails, and his hair was crunchy around the edges. I threw down the gauntlet: bath or shower, because you're having some sort of water touch your body, pal. He tuned me out, eyes glazed in a hockey trance until I finally said, "I'll give you a candy if you have a shower or a bath. And scrub."

Cue the choir: Ha-a-al el u jah!

He is now squeaky clean and smelling wonderfully of Dove shampoo, Body Shop shea butter soap, and toothpaste.

Oh, and I reneged on the candy. Well, actually I postponed it until tomorrow. If he actually remembers and asks me for it and it's not too close to bedtime, he can have it then.

Intermittent Blogging and a Must-See

2010-05-04T21:59:00.000-07:00

It's lacrosse-spring hockey-dance recital season so you're lucky I'm here at all.

Seriously, I keep going to my home page so I can check out my favourite blogs and think, I should really write something...or I could go to bed at a reasonable hour for a change. Or fold some laundry. Or something equally as exciting.

Then I sat down this evening and realized that I haven't written anything for about three weeks!

So why bust up a good thing now. Instead of actually writing anything, I'll leave you with this. I MUST see this when it comes around.

Everybody loves... Babies. This visually stunning new movie simultaneously follows four babies around the world - from first breath to first steps. From Mongolia to Namibia to San Francisco to Tokyo, Babies joyfully captures on film the earliest stages of the journey of humanity that are at once unique and universal to us all.

My Baby is One!

2010-04-18T15:32:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I'm a little late. You should see his (mostly empty) baby book. The kid is lucky I have a blog.

I made a cake! He shares his birthday with his 3 year old cousin and I figured this was the simplest way to handle it.

Gavin enjoying said cake. Really enjoying it. This is his look-how-cute-I-am fake smile.

A rumbly toy truck to play with. Note the basketball game on in the background. Poor kid will forever have his birthday competing with the NCAA playoffs.

Happy Birthday, my darling!

Childcare Void

2010-04-17T08:23:00.001-07:00

I'm just writing off the top of my head here....but maybe if our government made providing more high-quality daycare spots a priority, I wouldn't have to resort to Craigslist to try to find in-home care. The group daycare in town has a waiting list a mile long and I can't afford it anyway. The other option is to try to secure care in a family daycare for Gavin and out-of-school care at a separate setting for Trevor and Amy. And for all that trouble I would be paying more than having someone come to the house.

Do I have solutions? Not really. But there has to be a better way.

Psycho!

2010-04-16T21:12:00.000-07:00

It's been an interesting week around here to say the least. We parted ways with our nanny. She was with us for a whole four weeks. Truthfully, her psycho-ness began to show up during the first week, but I wanted to believe that I had made a good decision and wasn't willing to face the possibility that I had made a mistake and might have to do the whole quest-for-childcare thing again.

So if the universe sends you trials and tribulations in your life in order that you may learn and grow from them, I really must reflect on what the point of dealing with psycho-nanny for the past month was supposed to teach me. Because I don't ever want to deal with THAT again.

I should have listened to my instincts.
I should have been more thorough in my interview with her.
I should have questioned her decision making the moment I felt uncomfortable about her.
I should have viewed her with a skeptical eye until she proved otherwise (as opposed to my usual rose-coloured glasses).
I should have gotten it all in writing.
I shoud not have let her take the key off our premises.

Instead, because I was afraid of being seen as difficult, or demanding, or bossy, I let her put my children in situations that were at best, questionable, and at worst terribly, even potentially fatally unsafe.

So needless to say the next nanny search will go a whole lot differently.

On a more positive note, having this whole thing blow up on me has also hammered home what a fantastic community I live in. No less than six families offered to do what they could to help out with childcare until I can get something more permanent in place. I'll probably get more offers as word of this gets around (it's only been 24 hours so far). All of these families have their own kids and busy lives and work to juggle, but they happily offered their help. New Westminster is the best place in the world to live.

Tiger is Icky

2010-04-14T06:47:00.000-07:00

(A couple of days late, I know....)

I managed to take in a bit of the Masters over the weekend. It's one of my favourite golf events to watch on TV. Over the past five months I've managed to dodge much of the Tiger media frenzy by simply tuning it out. Really, there are more important and pressing things for me to worry about. Like global warming. And switching to decaf.

So I was surprised at my own vitriol against him when I sat down to take in a few holes. Yes, he is an amazing golfer. But there I was, rooting against him as loudly and as obnoxiously as I could. It was a visceral "ICK YUCK BLECH" reaction.

SO glad he tanked as the weekend progressed.

And SO glad Phil Mickelson's wife and mom were well enough amid their concurrent breast cancer treatments to be there to watch him win it.

Karma, baby.

(Grand)Parents are People

2010-04-11T21:53:00.000-07:00

I had an experience over the weekend that brought the above into sharp focus. On Saturday, my mom and dad were over visiting and it was such a beautiful day that we (them, Amy, Gavin and myself) decided to go for a walk down to the ravine near our house to look at a duck pond and enjoy a bit of nature. It's a moderately challenging walk back up to our place involving a pretty serious set of trail stairs and a steady uphill climb; we made it almost all the way back to the house when my mom stumbled and fell. After she took a few minutes to gather herself, she felt she would be ok if she just sat for a bit and took it easy. My dad had planned to watch Trevor's hockey game out in Surrey it was time for him to leave; I said I would stay with my mom and for him to go ahead.

About 10 minutes, a very alarming looking bruise on Mom's hand developed so we decided that a trip to the ER for an x-ray was in order. She insisted that she could take a cab, or that I could just drop her off and she could cab home; I insisted that I would take her and we would wait with her.

Before I had my own children, I saw my mom as a wee bit superhuman. If this had happened when I was in my 20's and she had insisted that she could handle waiting on her own I would have taken her at her word and gone on my merry way. But really, faced with an unexpected injury and a yucky visit to the ER, most people would appreciate having some company along for the ride and a bit of TLC. Even if they are superhuman.

And since having my own children, I finally realize that my Mom is human and sometimes she needs help even when she says she doesn't. And not coincidentally, she shares many personality traits with me...including a tendency to re-assure others in order to ease their worries, regardless of the cost to herself. Hmmm...

Mom's hand will be alright in a few weeks. I was glad I bought the three hours' worth of parking and stayed for the duration, kids and all. I don't know that we were particularly helpful while we were there but I hope it showed how much I love her and that I finally see her as a whole person, not just as my mom.

Stupid Easter Chocolate

2010-04-05T22:38:00.000-07:00

Why oh why don't I learn from myself? I handled Halloween brilliantly, if I do say so myself. Easter....not so much.

Easter morning, Amy woke up at 4:30am and started to head down the stairs with her basket in hand! I only bumped into her because Gavin and I were having a little nighttime visit. Needless to say, she was just a little bit stoked about the egg hunt. I made her go back to bed and she managed to hold off until about 7:00am.

That dumb Bunny visited our house and left what I thought was a not-obscene amount of chocolate eggs to find and a hollow bunny for each of the kids. I cursed that Bunny every hour for the following 48 hours for ever bringing that wretched substance into my house.

They argued over the distribution fairness of the chocolate. At one point while Trevor was at lacrosse, I caught Amy "dividing" up the eggs between her basket and Trevor's after she ate a sizable amount from hers - not her most shining moment.

They beg, plead, cajole, and bargain for the right to eat the chocolate. One is not enough. Five, ten, twenty...there is never enough, they must always try for more.

Their behaviour is off the wall as they ride a roller coaster of blood sugar highs and lows. I almost pity them except they are driving me mad.

So, today as we approached dinnertime, I started to say no to the chocolate for the bazillionth time that day. Instead, I said, "Sure you can eat the chocolate. Eat it all. I am tired of this conversation and I want it gone. BUT. You must eat at least some of your dinner which we are having in one hour, because Grandma and Grandpa are here to have Easter dinner with us and I won't have it ruined by all the chocolate. AND, if you whine and complain that you are full and cannot eat dinner because you are full of chocolate, I will be emailing the Easter Bunny and asking him not to bring chocolate next year. And if you think I'm kidding, just try me."

To which Amy replied, "You don't have his email address." Whaaa?!

To which I replied, "Not yet, but I have Google. I'll find it." Aha! Take that.

Next year I am sending a copy of this post to that dumb bunny in mid-March. I'm sure he'll figure out something different for next year.

Busybusy

2010-04-04T22:35:00.000-07:00

I haven't been posting much since I went back to work. Honestly, I don't have a lot of mental energy left by the time I get a few uninterrupted minutes at the computer these days. I have these starting fragments floating around in my head...oh yeah, I should write about that. But then I sit down to do it and realize that I forgot to make the kids' lunches or download a science activity.

Here are a few of the things going on around here lately:

Easter
Gavin's FIRST BIRTHDAY (well that was the fastest year of my life!)
My niece's birthday on the same day
Report cards (sending out at school and receiving Trevor and Amy's)
The extra-curricular activity shift to Spring (lacrosse, spring hockey, pre-teen yoga...)
Gavin is starting to walk
Fitting in my workouts (they're still kind of sporadic, but I'm pretty amazed I'm doing anything at all since I've hit my usual "quit" zone)
the GI Diet...who knew kale was so tasty?!
the garden is actually happening this year. Things are even growing already!

So, I shall stumble off to bed. Hopefully I'll re-read this post and actually get to elaborate on one or more of the above...one of these days.

This May Be TMI, but...

2010-03-24T20:45:00.000-07:00

So...work's good, kids are good, house is good enough, Dave's good (in spite of our constant state of interrupted-sleep-fogginess). My breasts, though...not so much.

When I returned to work the first two times, both kids were already weaned. In retrospect, I think I probably mistook their increasing awareness of the their surroundings as a miscue that they weren't interested in breastfeeding anymore; this time around I'm a bit more patient and as a consequence, Gavin still nurses periodically throughout the day.

I didn't think anything at all of managing breastfeeding when heading back to work until about 2:00 in the afternoon on the first day. I was suddenly very aware of my left breast which hadn't been emptied since the night before! I nursed Gavin as soon as I got home, and figured if I could tough out dropping the midday feeding for a couple of days, my supply would adjust.

The problem is, I don't really want to go to formula on the days that I'm home, and I still really like being able to nurse Gavin when we are together. So my supply adjusted on my off-days and picked up again. And again, I was pretty uncomfortable by Monday afternoon at work. Maybe I'll try bringing my breast pump, the thing is that I doubt I can find a quiet place and 15 minutes to myself anywhere at school. But I will try. Because...

My hormones have gone berserk. I have been in a constant state of PMS for the past two weeks, my body isn't sure whether or not it should start ovulating again, my skin is a broken out mess of acne and I want to eat chocolate non-stop. So if pumping evens all that out, I will do it. And if it doesn't even all that out, well, we might just be doing morning and evening breastfeeding from here on out. It's just about time to introduce whole milk, anyway.

Oh yeah....

2010-03-20T08:46:00.000-07:00

Now I remember one thing that sucks about working again: having to battle the crowds to do grocery shopping on the weekend with kids in tow. SO much busier.

Like Riding a Bike

2010-03-18T20:52:00.000-07:00

Here's a paraphrased transcript of about 25 conversations I've had this week:
Me: Hey, how's it goin'?
Other Person: Oh, pretty good, how about you? You're back at work now aren't you?
Me: Yep.
Other Person: (sympathetic look) Oh, that must be rough... (or something along those lines)

The truth is...not really. I love my job, and doing it part-time is the perfect balance for me. For once I'm returning from a maternity leave to a familiar school in my old classroom and working with families who missed me. The teaching part was like riding a bike; I had a few wobbly moments on Monday morning but we quickly found our groove as a class.

When I'm working outside the home, I'm a happier person and consequently a better mom. I have a greater appreciation for the time I get to spend with my kids and I think they appreciate me more when I've been away for a bit. I'm also a bit easier on myself about the state of tidiness (or lack thereof) of my house because I've got other stuff going on. This being my third leave, I had much less worry about leaving the kids having been there, done that before. (Though as an aside, I wasn't preoccupied with Gavin while I was at work, but boy did I want to just gobble him up when I got home!)

It feels like the year of being home was really a dream that seemed like a year but then I woke up and it was actually only a couple of hours. It was lovely, but I definitely prefer the reality of my life humming along to the rhythms of my part-time work week and the school year.

Of course, it's only been three days. I might be singing a different tune when the end of June rolls around....

A Change is Gonna Come

2010-03-14T22:42:00.001-07:00

There is a seismic shift about to take place at my house. I'm going back to work tomorrow! Not that being on maternity leave with three kids isn't a lot of work, but it can be done in pajamas if necessary, whereas being a teacher requires a bit more decorum.

What does this mean for us as a family? A new (and wonderful) child care provider, "easy" dinners at the end of my workdays, Sundays of frantically rushing around trying to get the family ready for the upcoming week. Just as busy as my SAHM life, but in a very different way.

There is also the tricky business of re-negotiating the division of labour of household work. Dave and I have a pretty good system and he definitely carries his fair share of the load...I'm referring more to the under-5-feet-tall set at my house. When they are home, the house generally looks like a tornado has followed in their wake. Which is fine as long as they clean up after themselves at some point before they go to bed. (Gavin gets a pass until he actually hits 12 months, then he's on the chain gang, too). Unfortunately, they've become accustomed to me picking up the slack while I've been home for the past year; this hasn't done them or me any favours as I predict it will be a challenge for me to get them to PICK UP THEIR JUNK ALREADY!

It's a big transition for the whole family. I like change. I embrace it. But it's still kind of stressful.

Why I Love My Dentist

2010-03-06T23:55:00.000-08:00

I don't want to jump him or have a dentist fetish or anything, I just think my dentist is really cool. A few reasons why....

1. When I recently referred another family to his office they sent me a Starbucks card by way of thanks. (please note, Starbucks bribery will always get you compliments when it comes to me!)

2. When I had something stuck under my gum earlier this week, they got me in the same day and after much freezing and coaxing relieved my poor, inflamed mouth.

3. While I was there, I eavesdropped on the coolest conversation to EVER take place in a dentist's office. There was an older fellow just finishing up with his teeth cleaning in the room across the way from me. The receptionist told him that since he had recently had his 90th (!!) birthday and he had been coming to this office for such a long time, the dentist decided to give the patient a special rate as a birthday gift. His file dated back to 1964, so he got the rate he would have paid in 1964: a whopping $4.00! So cool, because that was probably actually worth close to $200. Also cool because I know for a fact that my dentist was only a gleam in his dad's eye in 1964, but he is honouring the practice and patients who came before he took over about 10 years ago. And finally, the coolest thing, the old guy still has his own teeth at 90 years of age!

I'm Moving Up in the World

2010-02-07T20:32:00.000-08:00

You may recall back around Christmas time I got some very special hate mail from Amy. I'm all for purposeful writing for children in the primary grades, but a picture of a grumpy mommy with a big X over it was a little tough to take.

Turns out I've jumped a few notches in the opinion of my esteemed offspring. Check it out:

When she read it back to me she realized she forgot the word "favourite," so I added it in for her. Can you dig it? I'm the second favourite, baby!!

I didn't ask her who is her first favourite.

(Dave, obviously).

12 step program for baby carrier addiction

2010-02-05T14:26:00.000-08:00

Do you know of one? Because I need one. First I spent all the money I made on Craigslist (a whole $35) on a Hug of Joy carrier that I found on....Craigslist! It's beautiful and simple, and is essentially the same as my Hotsling, but a bit stretchier. Did I need it? No. But I just had to have it.
Then I got a note on my FB news feed that the Babyhawk page now has a blog, which took me to see their new fabrics, which took me to trying out different colour combinations with the straps, and the next thing I knew, my memorized-credit-card-number was flying into the order section and I will soon be the owner of ANOTHER Babyhawk. Did I need it? No. But it's soooooo gorgeous. And I love my other Babyhawk.
I hope Dave isn't reading this.

Wherein I Get Chills

2010-02-01T15:55:00.000-08:00

I feel like I just got a phone call from a long-lost friend and we picked up almost right where we left off.

I shudder to think of how abominably I've cared for this piano. We got it when I was 12 and it was my go-to friend, my confidante, my punching bag through the perils of adolescence. Having said that, I think we only got it tuned once as it sat in our chilly basement in my parents' old house. Then I took it with me when I moved out, and moved again, only getting it tuned one more time. That's twice in about 25 years. Somehow setting aside $100 for a tuning just never figured in as a priority.

The kids have started piano lessons; Trevor last year and Amy this past fall. And it was becoming downright painful to listen to, especially when Trevor started practicing chords. CRINGE! I finally called a piano tuner and he worked his magic for a couple of hours. He told us things I never knew about our piano, such as it was manufactured in the mid-70's in Quebec, and was later sold in a store in Manitoba (we got it second-hand from another family when we lived in Portage la Prairie). I started feeling like it was a neglected and misunderstood old dog or something; I had started to take it for granted as a heap of wood and strings in the corner of our living room. I hardly ever get to play since we had kids. When I did play it just didn't sound so great...but it wasn't the piano's fault, and I wasn't THAT rusty, we were just out of sync.

Once he finished tuning it, I thought I'd try it out to hear the difference. I picked out something easy and tonal: Imagine by John Lennon. Just the first few bars. It was warm and delicious and was ringing around in my ceiling and my head long after I finished playing it. I can bring up the sensation just thinking about it. It made me resolve to get my old friend tuned up annually and to sit down and practice a little bit more regularly so she never gets so run-down again.

p.s. Did you know not everyone gets chills from listening to music? I was SHOCKED to learn this from my husband while we were dating. He looked at me like I had sprouted an antenna when I showed him my goosebumps from listening to a particular passage or chord. His family is all the same.

More's the pity for them.

Magic for Little Bums

2010-01-28T19:18:00.000-08:00

During the entire three-and-a-half years that I dealt with my first two kids being in diapers I can only recall one instance of diaper rash. Poor Trevor. I had my m-i-l watching him while I played nine holes of golf. He had Raisin Bran for breakfast. She had an aversion to poopy diapers. The result: a bleeding, raw diaper rash that made both of us cry. It was easily resolved in a couple of days with lots of bare bum in the fresh air (it was summertime so that was pretty easy) and some Vaseline at night.

Fast forward to January 2010...upon our return from Mexico where I had bought some disposable Huggies and Huggies wipes (with the slightest bit of fragrance in them). After two days in these diapers, Gavin had a horrendous red rash. It looked like blistering little pimples and they were rapidly getting worse. In the past, I've used Vaseline for sore-looking baby bums, or zinc oxide if it looked really on the verge of getting rashy...but my usual arse-nal (groan) didn't even make a dent in this rash.

I remembered hearing someone raving about Bum Bum Balm, made by Dimpleskins Naturals and resolved to give it a try. There is a company store down in Sapperton where the owner/founder, Jen Casey, first started out in 2001. I sent Dave out to try there first, but he must have caught them on a coffee break...this rash would not wait! He then hit Choices at the Crest where I can only imagine Dave asking a clerk for "Bum Bum Balm," (lmao!). He gulped at the $12 price tag for the 30 gram tin, but dutifully bought it and brought it home.

Let me tell you this stuff is MAGIC! Within a day I noticed a marked improvement and in two days the rash was pretty much gone. The product is 100% natural and smells great. Also, I tried putting some on a nasty little patch of irritated skin in the folds of his neck and it cleared that up, too.

Buy some for your little one's bum. It works like a hot damn and you'll be supporting a local business. :-)

Indulge a Proud Mommy

2010-01-24T21:34:00.000-08:00

On Friday night, Trevor got to go to GM Place to participate in Canucks First Strides. There were REAL Canucks there: Kyle Wellwood,

Andrew Raycroft, Tanner Glass and Fin. Trevor's in the third row in the middle of the gray jerseys.

Hard to believe he did Preschool IcePuppy (or whatever that level is) three times before he finally passed.

That's Andrew Raycroft and Trevor's at the front of the line for a passing/shooting drill (he got the pass from Fin!).

I was super impressed by the whole evening and the education component they offered for the parents - GO CANUCKS GO!

Butt-Kicker

2010-01-23T10:13:00.000-08:00

I hired myself a butt-kicker.

Like many people, I struggle with my weight and (lack of) fitness. There are gazillion excuses too numerous to list here. Over the years I've joined gyms, bought exercise dvd's, joined Weight Watchers, etc. etc. I start out great for the first two or three weeks, but I have never been able to make it an integral part of my life.

So I hired my friend, Patti, to kick my butt. Not literally, but it sure feels like she did when I'm done with my squats. Also, she wants to see a food log from me every couple of days. This is a cornerstone of the Weight Watchers program, but I always gave up because no-one cared if I actually tracked or not. It's amazing, though, how much more inclined I am to write down what I eat when I know someone else cares if I've done so. And believe me, I'd better have a damn good reason if it's not done!

I've been at it for a few days and am feeling more energetic and just generally better than I have in a long while. Sore butt and all.

As Heard from the Back of my Minivan

2010-01-20T11:42:00.000-08:00

Amy: Mommy, do you know what we're made of?

Me: Ummm, are you asking me or do you already know?

Amy: I already know! Bones, and dreams, and blood.

Me: not sure I heard correctly...Bones and what?

Amy: Dreams! Like in your head.

Me: Oh yeah...how did you figure that out.

Amy: I just know.

Five Cool Things

2010-01-17T21:08:00.000-08:00

1. My next door neighbour has fashioned a display of Olympic rings out of hula hoops and Christmas lights (don't tell VANOC). Pictures to come when I find my camera...

2. Amy beat me fair and square the first time we played Scrabble Junior and I was actually really and truly playing. She was even strategizing ahead on how to not leave spots for me to score. Shark.

3. Trevor got chosen to do the Vancouver Canucks First Strides program at GM Place this week! Many many pictures are sure to follow...

4. Gavin has a favourite book. Night, Night, Little Pookie by Sandra Boynton. He laughs as soon as he sees the cover!

5. It's mid-January and my kids were out riding their bikes today. I love living here!

I Luv New West

2010-01-16T22:07:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to sit down and pen a heartfelt tribute to my city for quite some time. New Westminster is an amazing place; everything in a city but with a small town feel. When we moved here I had no idea how quickly and deeply I would feel a sense of finally being at home.

I came across this on my FB news feed; fellow New West'rs Marty Benson and Peter Birovchak have written and performed this song about our fair city on the occasion of the upcoming Olympic relay. They did a much more moving tribute musically than I ever could in my clumsy prose. Enjoy!

p.s. Those are some darn cute kids!

Wear Your Helmet

2010-01-13T21:27:00.000-08:00

Some of us just have to learn the hard way, I guess.

Tuesday night, adult skating lessons at Moody Park Arena. I'm a decent skater, I can skate forward, I can stop and turn in control, I can even skate backwards. I took lessons as a kid (no helmets required), but I'd like to be a better skater (especially backwards and edges).

I was tired having been up with Gavin and his cold the night before. I probably should have turned in early, but I really wanted to hit the adult skating lessons. So I went. About 20 minutes into the lesson, I bailed. Hard.

I wasn't even doing anything difficult, just a simple glide and one-foot stop which I've been able to do since I was 6. But I caught an edge and lost my balance and fell backwards. I imagine the sound my head made when it hit the ice was a sickening thwack. I'm not sure, though, because the next thing I remember is some darkness and trying to sit up but feeling very woozy. I literally saw a ring of stars when I tried to focus my vision on anything for three hours afterward.

I split the back of my scalp, got blood all over my clothes, and was diagnosed with a pretty good concussion. I couldn't drive home, my hubby had to wake me up every two hours that night, I still felt like crap today as I caught the bus back to the arena lugging Gavin in the car seat to pick up the van.

As I tried to fall asleep last night, I couldn't stop thinking about Natasha Richardson and what an idiot I was for not wearing a helmet. What a stupid risk to take! I'd never let my kids skate without a helmet. It's the same sort of mentality that many in my generation used to share about wearing bike helmets; great for the kids, but we've been fine so far so we don't really need them. It wasn't until it became the law that helmets were worn widely by cyclists. I'd like to look up some data on head injuries in cyclists before and after that law was enacted, but my head hurts and I need to lie down again.

Even if you're an awesome skater, who's to say some out of control beginner flailing around isn't going to come careening at you from behind and take your feet out?

I will forevermore wear a helmet when skating. I urge you to do the same. And, in my opinion, parks and rec should require everyone (not just children) to wear helmets during public skating sessions.

Where's my ice pack?

All You Need is Love

2010-01-07T11:37:00.000-08:00

Spotted this on Bacon is My Enemy. Brilliant. Pass it on.

What's for Dinner

2010-01-07T11:07:00.000-08:00

One of my resolutions for this year is to bring some new recipes into my repertoire of dinners. I'm a decent cook, but after a while it's easy to fall into a rut of buying the same old ingredients each week and then when you try to make something new and interesting it ends up tasting the same anyway.

This week I sat down with my new cookbook, Crazy Plates, planned out dinners for the week, and made a shopping list from my plan. I love this cookbook because the recipes are low fat with accurate nutritional information, and it's really funny! So far we have had Chicken and Mango Tango (a warm chicken salad), Obi Wonton Kenobi Soup (who knew I could make my own wontons?!), and Piled-High Veggie Pot Pie (meh, would have been better with chicken). Tonight we are having Lanky Noodle Dandy. I'm having fun making new things - and eating them - and so far everything has met with good reviews from the dinner table. Except for one.

Amy, my famously picky eater, has soldiered through my culinary adventures this week with only the occasional slightly rude comment about how gross everything is. She actually nibbled on a tiny - and I do mean tiny - corner of a lettuce leaf on Monday, and once I convinced her the wontons weren't actually brains and picked out all the carrots and bok choy, she ate her soup on Tuesday. But yesterday was the last straw. Faced with a bowl full of vegetables and a biscuit crust polluted with sweet potatoes, she wrinkled her brow and demanded, "Why can't we just have plain food?! Like a cheese bun or tacos?" Tacos? Really? Since when are tacos plain? She eventually choked down some of the biscuit topping so as not to completely starve herself, frowning all the while. Trevor, on the other hand, had two helpings. Even Gavin ate some.

Do you have a picky eater in your life? Any tips aside of serving them bread and butter until they're old enough to fend for themselves?

Why I Can Never Find a Soother When I Need It...

2010-01-06T19:02:00.000-08:00

Turns out I don't just have mommybrain...Gavin has a secret stash of soothers going up against the wall (sorry for the weird camera angle). I found them when I went to change his sheet the other day.

The problem is that it's so secret he doesn't even know where it is!

Hola! or what I did on my vacation

2010-01-05T21:46:00.000-08:00

Feliz Anonuevo (I think)!

Don't hate me, but we were in Puerto Vallarta for Christmas this year!

It was amazing. We stayed at a beautiful resort with a gorgeous beach and pool areas, no-one in our group got sick, and we actually relaxed. On the third day of our trip I turned to Dave as we splashed in the waves with our kids and boogie boards, "This is the pace that life should be."

I can't wait to go back!

Pay Attention!

2009-12-15T11:19:00.000-08:00

Like most parents, I often find my attention is required in ten different places at once. Aside from the direct parenting attention required, there are meals to get, housework to do, emails to check, errands to run, chauffering to and from activities...you get the idea.

Trevor is of the age that he can manage to keep himself fairly well-occupied with minimal guidance from me; in fact, he is beginning to prefer to "do his own thing" and only wants my attention occasionally through the day.

Gavin is pretty much happy as long as I've fed him and he has some toys to monkey around with, needing attention only when he's tired. Plus, I wear him a fair bit so he has contact with me throughout the day.

Amy, however, craves my attention. She can and sometimes does manage to keep herself busy...lately she has been all about writing: cards, books, notes to friends, both on the computer and with a pencil. I've also been making a real point of making sure I spend time with her each day engaging in books and writing with her. BUT. Maybe it's because I've been spending more time on this lately that we had a little blow out this weekend.

On Sunday, I had some Christmas cards that needed to be done up and sent out. I had purchased a box of 32 cards. Some were earmarked for teachers and coaches, some for my aunties, some for various other family and friends. Amy, who loves all things Christmas especially glittery, shiny cards, immediately wanted to do a whole bunch of them up for her friends at school. I said, "Sure, just let me do mine up first and you can have all the rest of them." She is wise beyond her years and knows that I might not actually get around to doing them even that same day (especially since I've been trying to get them done for a week but can't seem to get around to giving it the attention it deserves). She grumped down the stairs, upset that she didn't get to do her cards right that minute.

About 20 minutes later as I was having simultaneous conversations with my husband in real life and my dad on the phone, she stomped upstairs and presented me with a piece of paper with a drawing on it. I glanced at it without looking and tossed it down on the desktop. She glared at me for a minute and then grumped down the stairs again. After about 10 more minutes, she came up and and glared at me some more prompting me to ask,
"What's up, Buttercup?"
"Well, did you read it?"
"Huh? Oh this, right, let's look at it." I opened the paper to see a stick person with a very frowny face and a big X through the it, with the word Mommy under the drawing. Hmmm. No wonder she was so choked at me, I didn't even give her hate mail attention.
"Okaaaay...it seems like you're pretty mad at me, is this about the cards?"
She turned on her heel and stomped back down the stairs.

I thought to myself that I should just give her some cards, I could probably scrounge up some extras or just pick up some more the next time I was out. So I counted out one of each of the eight designs and took them downstairs to her. I handed them to her and said, "Here you go, I counted and I'll still have enough cards and that way you've got some, too."

She didn't say anything. I went back upstairs. She followed me up about three minutes later and handed the cards back to me without a word, then went back downstairs again.

Hm.

I went downstairs where she was hiding behind a chair and asked her what was wrong and she started to cry. "I don't want you to not have enough cards!" "
"But I counted them," I told her, "it's ok, you can totally have them. I'm not mad at all." But that just made her cry harder. (I'm really looking forward to going through PMS with her someday.)

Then something occurred to me.
"Are you worried that I'm mad because of the picture you drew?"
She nodded.
"I'm not mad, you were just upset. But that's why you have to be careful about what you write and draw about people, it's hard to take it back. Come on, let's go do some cards together."

We sat down at the table to do some cards and I figured I could write a list for her to copy with her friends' names on it. We made the list and as she started the first card, I looked at the clock and realized that I had to get going and have a shower if we were all going to get to Trevor's hockey game on time. I started to say, "There you go, I'm just going to go have a shower..." when she stopped me and put her hand on my arm. She said, "I just want to spend some time with you."

Of course. That was what she had been trying to tell me all morning, I just wasn't listening.

I sat back down and we finished them up...and I wore a hat to hockey.

Sleep Update

2009-12-14T10:57:00.000-08:00

Dear internet, I know you are dying for the latest update on the sleep saga...if not, keep reading and you can enjoy your own little bit of sleep zzzzzzzzzzzzzz. (btw, I know the soother is supposed to go in his MOUTH, not his eye).

We got Gavin to get himself to sleep in the evening on his own with minimal stress. He squawks for about a minute and then realizes he'd feel better if he'd just close his eyes so he rolls over and goes to sleep. Mission #1 accomplished.

The problem was that we had gotten in the habit of nursing and cuddling back to sleep through the night. This, from my baby who slept through the night at 7 weeks and rarely nursed at night suddenly seemed to need to cuddle and nurse for ridiculous amounts of time three or four times per night?! The problem was mostly my fault, as usual. You see, he shares a room with Trevor and I was reluctant to let Gavin squawk himself back to sleep and disturb Trevor's sleep. So I'd rush in, pick him up and go downstairs to try to settle him. After three weeks of this, I was done!

I knew I needed to give him the chance to figure out how to self-soothe through the night, so I set up the playpen in our basement and camped out downstairs with him for a couple of nights.

The first night he woke several times; the first time he was up for about 25 minutes crying pretty hard. I went to him a couple of times and put his soother in or talked softly, but I didn't pick him up. The rest of the night, he awoke three or four times, squawked once or twice and went back to sleep.

Then last night, he went to sleep at 7:00 pm. And he slept through until Trevor came downstairs and woke him up at 7:45 am. RIGHT THROUGH. I, on the other hand, was up several times to have a peek at him and make sure he was ok.

I feel like a rock star today. It's amazing how great it feels to have some sleep under my belt! If he does it again tonight, we're moving back upstairs.

Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity | Video on TED.com

2009-12-09T21:05:00.000-08:00

Ken Robinson says schools kill creativity Video on TED.com

I found this so inspiring! It's worth the 20 minutes it takes to watch it, especially if you are working in education or have a child in school. It makes me reflect on my own teaching practice and my interactions with my kids about their school life; am I doing everything I can to encourage their creativity? Are they willing to be wrong about something?

Sleeping

2009-12-08T05:12:00.000-08:00

I now remember how when your kids are not sleeping how all-consuming it is and how it feels like it will never end. You ramble on and on giving minute by minute accounts of how last night's bedtime went to the cashier at Safeway because it is your sole preoccupation in your sleep-deprived state. I have also been on the other end of those conversations in times in my life that my kids were sleeping and politely nodded while thinking to myself, "Jeez, get some perspective, it's only a little sleep and it can't last like this forever." And as I recall having thought that, I'd like to go back in time and punch my well-rested self in the nose. Because it really is that bad when you're not getting enough sleep!

Now I have these conversations with myself having been through, like, three whole weeks of sleep issues with Gavin. (I know there are many people who suffer through this for YEARS with babies/toddlers who don't sleep or let their parents sleep, so don't hate me.) At times these past weeks, I felt so angry, frustrated and sad that Gavin wouldn't just go to sleep already. Then my intellectual self would try to reason with me that this struggle wouldn't last forever, in fact it might only last a couple more nights. But my sleep-deprived emotional self just couldn't deal with it.

I tried the No-Cry Sleep Solution and for us, it just wasn't a good fit. I lack the patience required to gently re-shape sleep behaviour and was just becoming totally resentful and even more sleep deprived. So we did cry-it-out. With the boys sharing a room I just needed Gavin to figure out how to get himself to sleep and quickly. The first two nights were tough to listen to, about 20 minutes of full-on crying both nights. And ever since? A minute or two of squawking, and then peaceful sleep, for naps and night sleep! He is napping better which has in turn improved his night sleep; I've had to make a commitment to do what I can in terms of activities and scheduling to support his naps during the day...not easy with two other busy kids! Night waking was becoming an issue for us where it totally hadn't been before AT ALL. Since he's figured out how to get himself to sleep, he's better at getting himself back to sleep at night without me.

I have no judgment on parents and their sleeping arrangements; people have to do what works best for their family and parenting style. For us this is what worked.

If you're interested, here is what his sleep schedule seems to have settled into:

7:00 - wakes up
10:00 - naps
11:30 or 12:00- wakes up
2:30 - naps
3:30 or 4:00 - wakes up
7:00 - bedtime
11:00 ish, wakes up and I feed him one last time. And then I get to have some sleep!

** You might notice the time stamp on this entry...I'm up not because of Gavin, but poor Trevor who has been inflicted with Barf-o-Rama making the rounds at our house again. Gavin actually got himself back to sleep after that whole commotion at 4:00 am!

Christmas Recipes

2009-12-05T07:43:00.001-08:00

Check this out if you still have Christmas baking to do...lots of easy recipes!

Easy Christmas Shopping...

2009-12-04T15:49:00.000-08:00

Here is a hot Christmas shopping tip courtesy of my friend, Nadia...Lee Valley Tools offers shopping on their website. They have lots of good quality and unusual items for the home, garden and even some cool gift ideas for kids. You can order and pay online with your credit card and then arrange to pick it up in the store when it is convenient for you at no extra charge. No crowds, unique gifts...easy squeezy!

Ummm, he's sleeping...

2009-12-03T21:01:00.000-08:00

We toughed it out again at bedtime, 20 minutes of crying and then he went to sleep. Hopefully the night goes ok...

Update on my last post

2009-12-03T11:29:00.000-08:00

I'm an idiot, dear internet! I wanted to go in and snap a photo of Gavin sleeping for my last post. So I tiptoed in, camera in hand, and I didn't get more than a foot in the door when he woke up, spotted me and started screaming again. It only lasted for 5 minutes this time. Man, what a gigantic ass am I.
So, I'm sorry, no picture just yet. Our sleep is more important.

Sleep - I Want Some, Please!

2009-12-03T11:08:00.001-08:00

All of a sudden, about two weeks ago, Gavin figured out that I still exist after I leave him to go to sleep (curse you, object permanence!). And ever since, my previously magical sleeper has been a demon about going to bed.

When Trevor was about this age (8 months), I did some form of modified cry-it-out to get him to go to sleep. What I remember about it was this: it took forever and involved me traipsing in at specified time intervals to "soothe" him without picking him up. But everytime I went in, he would get all upset again because I wasn't picking him up and cuddling him - again. It was like repeated rejection. Eventually, he did learn to get himself to sleep has been a pretty good sleeper ever since and seems not to be too scarred by the experience (though it was certainly unpleasant during the process for everyone living in our house).

As usual, I barely remember this phase with Amy. I think it's because we were in the middle of trying to "train" Trevor to stay in bed so we were parked outside their bedrooms playing cards on the floor; Amy could hear and see us out there so she just crashed around in her crib amusing herself until she got tired enough to go to sleep on her own. There was no conscious training involved, we were just in baby/toddler survival mode.

Fast forward six years to my sweet angel, Gavin. I was feeling like cry-it-out was rather unpalatable this time around. I bought a book called "The No-Cry Sleep Solution," by Elizabeth Pantley. I found the premise very appealing; you gradually shift your baby's sleep associations and behaviour through making gentle changes. I bought a notebook for making sleep logs so I could track his behaviour, and thought I had committed to this plan for the next 10 days.

I'm on Day 2 and ready to throw in the towel. See, he WAS a very good sleeper. It's like we're starting from scratch. And since the primary goal with this approach is no-cry, it seems like I am just reinforcing his fussy behaviour. Everytime it is time for a nap or to settle down from a night-waking, I go in and he just gets all riled up when he sees me. Each night this week it has taken progressively longer for him to get to sleep and when he enters light sleep he pops wide awake and wants me wants me wants me! Last night it was from 10:00 pm until 1:30 am!!

I also get the importance of naps in preventing overtiredness at bedtime and helping to ensure a good night's sleep. So I went to put him down for a nap this morning at 10:15, as he seemed to be getting tired. At this writing, it is 11:20. He woke up at 10:30 or so and has been crying ever since. I went in once to replace his soother and he just got more upset. I know he needs to sleep, and I am so fed up with this after three whole days of it (sorry, those of you who live this nightmare for 2 years or more), I am not going in there. I have a shitload of things to do around here, Amy's home sick today (again) and can only amuse herself for so long quietly. So I'm not going in, no-cry method be damned. I am just not patient enough for that.

Until I can't stand the crying anymore, that is....OMG! I think he finally went to sleep! Oh please, I hope I didn't just jinx it...fingers crossed for me!

Everyone approaches babies and sleeping differently; I welcome your thoughts/suggestions/comments. Unless they involve name-calling because I let him cry it out today, you're welcome to disagree but be nice, please. I just really need some sleep.

Upsetting Headline and Flying with Babies

2009-12-02T17:46:00.000-08:00

This headline screaming "Breastfeeding Mom Smothers Baby" made me groan out loud. In this age where many (most) people only get their news through 10 second soundbites and sensational headlines on the internet, this is particularly upsetting as it insinuates that breastfeeding might be a dangerous activity.
Breastfeeding a baby on a plane is actually a great way to help keep him settled and equalize his ear pressure (especially on descent). Breastfeeding on a plane poses no greater risk than sitting on your living room couch. I suspect that this poor mother was either a) so tired she drifted off while holding the baby and perhaps shifted position, or b) was forced to cover up with a blanket not designed to be a nursing cover (as some airlines have asked nursing moms to do in the past). Either way, this is tragic to be sure, but breastfeeding should not be maligned as the culprit in this terrible accident.

Got me thinking, though, about my recent flights with Gavin and how airlines and Transport Canada handle infants on planes. On my flight to Toronto, I was travelling without my husband so I purchased a seat for Gavin thinking that a five hour flight is a long to have to hold a not-yet-sitting baby on my lap. Initially I thought I could just lie him down when the seat belt sign wasn't on, and pick him up in the "brace" position when it was...but, no, you actually have to drag your carseat onto the airplane and install it when you purchase a seat for an infant. Actually, this kind of makes sense, and ultimately seems safer to me in case of some sort of accident. BUT, then why can you have your infant/toddler under 2 years sit on your lap while travelling? Yeah, you save the airfare, but in case of an accident the whole holding-the-baby-in-the-brace-position seems about as effective as it would in a car. Maybe they figure that the plane would be going down in a flaming ball of death anyway, so it doesn't matter if they're in a carseat or not. But if that's the case, then why make you bring a carseat on board in the case of a purchased ticket? Hmmm...

So, when we flew to and from Palm Springs recently, it was a shorter flight and Dave was with me for trading off baby-holding duty so Gavin rode on my lap. On the way there, I found it quite tiring having to wrestle with him grabbing at stuff the whole time and thought that it would be much easier to wear him on the flight home in my Babyhawk. So on the flight home, he cozied up in the mei-tai style carrier, it was much easier getting to the gate, he drifted off nicely, and then....the flight attendant came by and told me I couldn't wear him! Apparently having something tied onto me like that could hamper my ability to exit the aircraft in case of an emergency. Buuuut, it's safer to have him flying loose around the cabin?! Or my arms all occupied with holding a baby while I'm trying to secure an oxygen mask?! I was pissed! I took him out, buggered up his nap and had to wrestle a cranky monkey (with a crankier mom) all the way back to Vancouver.

I get that airlines have guidelines they have to follow, but I just don't get the logic of the guidelines. Either you value safety and require everyone to purchase a seat for their infant with an approved car seat installed. Or you let people hold their children under 2 whatever way works best for them since safety in a crash is really not the priority anyway.

Am I dense, or missing something here?

So Much to Write, So Little Time

2009-11-29T21:08:00.000-08:00

I have so many things that keep popping into my head lately that have me thinking, "Oh, I must blog about that!" I'm so far behind, I was a week late with Amy's birthday blog.

Part of my problem is that I am a bit of a perfectionist sometimes when it comes to writing. My university training has me thinking that I should not put my writing out there without careful thought as to argument, organization and proofreading. When it comes to parenting, however, I am a big fan of "good enough," as in, yeah the baby has cereal in his hair and his ear, but we have to get the other two to school so good-enough!

I am going to try to apply my good enough philosophy to my writing this evening in order to get down the quick and dirty version of all the potential blog posts floating around in my head these days...

1. For Amy's birthday party, we visited a local mega-theatre-plex for their birthday party special. You get a movie, popcorn, a drink, and a meal in the party room afterward. We wanted to see Fantastic Mr. Fox, but couldn't so we settled on Disney's A Christmas Carol.

This movie was TERRIFYING. Completely unsuitable for a group of sweet little six year old girls. I can't imagine who the marketers think will go and see this movie (besides morons like me). I get it that Dickens can be a little creepy, but the movie trailer we saw online was very "Disneyfied." The movie itself was so frightening that I marched them all out part way through and spent an extra hour in the party room trying to play Musical Chairs without music and Simon Says. I was looking for an easy birthday party, but truthfully it would have been easier to just host the thing at my house. Lesson learned.

2. Amy, poor Amy, is such a middle child that I didn't even remember to bring the camera to her birthday party that was a complete and total flop anyway. Nice parenting.

3. On a totally different subject, I'd like to know a whole lot more about the specifics around implementing all-day kindergarten in this province. I've read the BC Ministry of Education's stuff on the implementation process and I just don't see how this is going to work. It's EXPENSIVE to outfit a kindergarten classroom with all the developmentally appropriate learning materials and manipulatives. It's EXPENSIVE to provide all the additional human resources needed; theoretically we'll need twice as many Kindergarten teachers as we have now. The benefits to children at risk are well documented, but the benefits are minimal to so-called normal children. From a teacher's perspective, I am dubious as the government barely seems to want to fund education as it is (school closures, districts forced to make due with less...less specialty teachers, fewer teacher librarians, fewer education assistants, the list goes on). It seems like a vote getting grab to me, designed to suck up to parents who don't want to deal with the headache of arranging daycare around a half day of school; kindergarten is not daycare! As a parent, I would not have felt very good about putting my first two children in school all day at the ages of four and five. As it is, they were asleep on their feet for the first month of Grade One! I could go on and on about all this...let's just say that my knee-jerk reaction to this proposal is HUH?! and upon further consideration, I find myself seriously skeptical about the whole thing.

4. Had a baking exchange at my house this weekend. Yeah, this really deserves another blog post unto itself...tomorrow.

5. My mom recently had a milestone birthday so today we went to see Stuart McLean's Vinyl Cafe Christmas. It was excellent! Warm, funny, entertaining without the snark so prevalent in many comedians' shows these days. There was also wonderful music by Jill Barber and Matt Andersen. Man, that dude can SING! All in all a wonderful afternoon for my wonderful mother.

6. Some sort of stomach virus I have tagged "Random Malaise" struck at our house with a vengeance this past week. Here's a hot enviro-tip for you: those small plastic pails they serve the kids' popcorn in make perfect barf buckets. I hope you don't have occasion to try this out in your home, but file it away in your brain just in case.

7. Baby sleep. Look for this to be a recurring theme in upcoming blog posts. As in, Gavin, my previously perfectly easy baby, has suddenly developed separation anxiety and any type of sleep that doesn't involve rocking in my arms or nursing provokes screaming of the sort usually associated with banshees. So the whole "getting to sleep" process has become verrrry interesting. More on that later this week. Also, I can no longer type while nursing because Gavin wants in on the computer action; this is really cutting into my blog time. Gasp - what will happen when I go back to work?!

That's all for this evening. More tomorrow. IF I can get Gavin to nap.

Amazing Amy!

2009-11-27T21:54:00.001-08:00

Dear Amy,

I can't believe you are six years old already! I remember the night you arrived like it was yesterday. Daddy and I listenened to the Canucks game on the radio in our hospital room while I breathed and waited for you to arrive. You had the good sense to wait until the game was over - you inherited that from your Dad's side of the family - before making your appearance at 10:00 pm. You and I stayed up all night just looking at each other. I was too excited to sleep and I remember thinking when I looked at you that this was just the first of many times I would be amazed by your presence.

Here are just some of the things I love about you:

- your determination

- your sensitivity

- your empathy

- your competitive spirit

- your intelligence

- your sense of humour

- your attention to detail and knack for organization (which I do NOT possess!)

I love the way you always find me for a hug in the morning. I love watching you in relationship with your brothers. I love the appreciation that you have for your grandparents. I especially love seeing the bond that you and Daddy have. I even love the myriad ways that you manage to delay the final good night because you just don't want our time together to end.

Speaking of which, I'm going to go and carry you upstairs now, after you managed to scoop an extra cuddle on the couch and fall asleep...

Love,

Mommy

I Loved the Muppet Show!

2009-11-25T19:50:00.000-08:00

I'd like to watch all those episodes from the 70's and 80's again; I bet I'd like them even more this time around. Especially if they're anything like this:

***I always feel a bit like posting a youtube clip is like a cheat-post since I didn't have to do any actual writing. I shall endeavour to actually write something tomorrow if things settle down around here (more on that later...)***

More on the Vacay...

2009-11-19T10:23:00.000-08:00

On Sunday we loaded up my f-i-l's car and headed from Palm Desert to Carlsbad to take in Legoland. We took the Palms to Pines Hwy (74) and while it was beautiful, I was glad that the switchbacks only lasted for about 10 miles or so (Gravol, anyone?).

About two hours later we ended up at the Sheraton in Carlsbad which is directly adjacent to Legoland and has its own private entrance to the park. We quickly dumped our luggage in the room and headed to the park to take in what we could in the four hours left until closing time.

Ahhh, Legoland. This place is AWESOME and was worth every penny! If you have kids under 10 and are planning a trip to Southern California, you should definitely set aside a day to check it out. A keen interest in Lego is not a prerequisite (though it would be that much better); there are lots of rides that are fun and not too scary and a couple of roller-coastery rides that are great for the target age group. The magic height to go on the rides seems to be 36", though there were a few that were open to 34" and they have many suggestions of "What to do when you're 2." When we visited the crowds were negligible and the most we waited for any ride was 5 minutes. There were water play areas, good quality shows (not Disney, but decent), lots of Lego stores, good food at the usual theme park prices and it was all very well-laid out. One of my favourite things at the park was Miniland where they have re-created bits of the USA out of Lego in astonwishing detail i.e. Manhattan, New England, SF, Hollywood, New Orleans, and the Vegas Strip!

The Statue of Liberty (taller than me)

The Venetian from the Vegas Strip

Trevor on the Bionicle Blaster

Amy battling the Dark Force

Gavin is teamed up with someone his own size.

We'll definitely try to get back there while Trevor and Amy are young enough to enjoy it and Gavin is old enough to appreciate it!

The hotel (the Sheraton Carlsbad)...meh. It's a four star hotel, and the facilities were lovely, the view was amazing...the room was nice-ish, but freezing, the guy who checked us in had a hard time finding the reservation, not sure why. The restaurant billed itself as family friendly but really, not so much. The ambience is more like fine dining and I was very self-conscious of the level of noise of our kids (which really was very appropriate for a "family" restaurant). The prices were definitely higher end and our server was very pushy about selling and light on the actual service aspect of his job. For the price of the food, the quality was poor. Dave's prime rib was very average and my pasta was dried out and chewy. All in all we were pretty disappointed with the hotel and next time we would stay at a lower end place and catch a shuttle to the park (or walk a mile or two).

So here we are back in Palm Desert about to fly home tomorrow morning. It's a perfect desert day and it will be very hard to face the reality of cold, wet, dark, windy November at home...

Palm Desert

2009-11-14T08:49:00.001-08:00

Here we are in the desert. A few things:

Back Street Bistro: AWESOME!!! In all the years we've been coming here we haven't had a chance to go there because there was always a huge line and we had little kids. We drove by on Veteran's Day (in the evening) and there was hardly anyone there so we decided to chance it with all three kids. The owner greeted us and was so incredibly gracious and welcoming, especially mentioning that she was happy to have the children. They don't have a kids' menu per se, but she offered to do up a small portion of anything on the menu or just whip up a kid friendly dish. Trevor had spaghetti and a meatball, and Amy had plain penne with butter and a bit of parmesan cheese (this may have been her best meal in a restaurant ever). Prices at this Italian restaurant were excellent; on par with franchise-type restaurants (think Olive Garden), but with far superior quality of food and service. FAR SUPERIOR. Can't say enough good about it. Go.

Olive Garden. Meh.

The WestJet website is a complete and total mess right now. Good luck changing a flight or even trying to do web check-in. They really need to get this sorted out pronto, it's been four weeks already.

It's Saturday, and guess what. We don't have ballet, tap, musical theatre, a soccer game, a hockey game, powerskating or a birthday party (all of which would normally occur on most Saturdays in the life of my family). On the schedule today: golf for Dave, bikes to the playground, a bit of shopping for new swim trunks for Dave and Trevor, swimming, playing outside, Panda Express for dinner and the hockey game on t.v. via the slingbox. I love vacations!

Tomorrow we're off to Legoland for a couple of days in Carlsbad (just north of San Diego). A review when we get back!

A Travelling We Go...

2009-11-10T12:34:00.000-08:00

I like the trip part of the travelling. Once you're on the road and away to your destination, even all the hoop-jumping to be done at the airport is kind of an adventure.

It's all bluster and fuss of getting ready that, for me, is gut wrenching. First, I have to start by cleaning my house. This is no small task as I tend to let it build and build and build...approximately the length of time in between trips, come to think of it. I clean so I can find what I'm looking for when packing, and so that when we arrive home all worn out from travelling we have a calm, organized space to put our feet up for a few minutes before unpacking.
Then there's the packing. Finding summer clothes that fit the kids, swimming gear, toiletries for five people, carry-on items that the FAA and TSB find an acceptable size, tickets, ID's, golf gear, bike helmets, car seats, and don't even get me started on baby gear. Now that the airlines have cracked down so hard on overweight luggage, we are walking a fine line with our family of five.
Organizing for the morning of travel can be challenging...making sure we've got everything, clearing out the fridge and garbage, making a quick breakfast for the kids, running the dishwasher, double-triple-quadruple checking that we've got everything. It really taxes my brain.

But then we're on our way, and we're all so excited to be having a travel adventure together, and relaxing and spending time as a family, that the 24 hours of upheaval prior to the trip makes it all worthwhile.

This Intersection Needs Help

2009-11-05T16:50:00.000-08:00

View Larger Map

This is the view of the intersection at the 8th Avenue entrance to Royal Square Mall, home to my closest Safeway, Starbucks and Liquor Store (priorities, people). I travel through this intersection several times per week, both as a pedestrian and a driver. I'm not sure what it is about this particular intersection, but it is like a magnet for car accidents and near misses.

Maybe it's the confluence of a couple of factors:
- There are three traffic lights within a one block stretch of 8th Avenue. One block! The traffic light I am talking about is in the middle and I wonder if drivers are busy looking at the next light and just simply don't see the light right above their heads. In any case, I can think of seven times in the past year where I have seen a car blast right through a red light on 8th Avenue (and not a yellow light run, but fully and completely RED for several seconds). Two of these were near misses for me as I turned left out of the parking lot onto 8th and had to slam on the brakes to avoid a collision.
- The pedestrian markings for crossings within the parking lot are kind of weird. One is on an angle to the door from a parking row increasing the time it takes for a pedestrian to get across; the other one crosses very close to the lighted intersecion. It feels to me like drivers are just a little bit less patient with waiting for pedestrians, especially when they can see the light just beyond the crosswalk is green and if they could just get around this confounded pedestrian...

I know that they had to re-engineer traffic along this stretch when the Safeway was renovated and expanded and I remember reading that this was all approved by council as the best option. I'm not sure how it could be changed for the better as I know I am no traffic engineer, but it seems to me to be worth re-examining before someone gets seriously hurt. Certainly drivers should be more patient and pedestrians should be very aware of the traffic around them in the parking lot, but with darker, shorter days ahead, this seems to me to be worth re-examining (hopefully before someone is seriously hurt).

The Day After

2009-11-01T09:35:00.000-08:00

UGH! The day after Halloween. So much build up and excitement around costumes and decorations and gobs and gobs and gobs of candy, licorice, and gum, oh my! Who would ever want to deny young children the delight and pleasure they take in Halloween!

November-the-first-Me, that's who. Today we are in a hangover of 10 lbs. each of candy wrappers, chip bags, late bedtime, sugar highs/crashing lows, whining for one more treat, I-can't-get-along-with-her-because-my body-just-can't-handle-all-these-artificial-flavours, and he-has-more/different/better stuff than me.

I can't handle it anymore.

By 9:07 this morning, I just couldn't face another several weeks (at least) of this. So I offered up a deal.

For the paltry price of $40.00 (twenty each), I am rounding up their candy and buying them any toy of their choosing that falls within the price range. They get to keep twenty pieces of candy, whatever kind they want, and keep it in a bag and be totally in charge of its consumption. I predict Trevor will eat himself sick by the end of the day, and Amy will drag it out, lording over Trevor on Wednesday the fact that she still has candy and he doesn't. But at least it will all be finished within a week.

Now if I can just get them to go run laps around the cul-de-sac, it's not raining yet...

More on H1N1

2009-10-29T17:08:00.000-07:00

'kay, I would get vaccinated if I could find out anything specific about actually getting vaccinated. And now I just heard on the news that the supplier of the vaccine is having production issues...

H1N1

2009-10-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

Are you getting vaccinated? I sure am!

Last year I didn't get a seasonal flu vaccine. I wanted to, as I get them free through my employer because I work with large groups of germ factories, I mean, children. I showed up to get my shot but the nurse wouldn't administer it because I was pregnant and didn't have a doctor's note. At my next doctor visit, I asked about it and they went to get me one but had just run out of vaccine. I ended up with the flu TWICE. I was so so so very sick. It was really awful. I never want to be that sick again!

So I am getting vaccinated, and so is my whole family. I don't buy any of the arguments against getting vaccinated that are, in my opinion, based on junk science.

Why would I risk getting even a mild flu (or the more serious strain) when it's easily avoided with a quick shot?

One Noisy Baby!

2009-10-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

Gavin might be the noisiest baby EVER! I will endeavour to capture this on video over the next few days (he usually clams up once he spots a camera), but in the meantime here is a clip to demonstrate just a little bit of what he sounds like these days (thanks, Megan!). He's much cuter than Pete Puma, and doesn't sound nearly that dopey when he "talks," but that inhaling wheeze is Gavin to a tee!

Actually, I just watched it again and the vowel sound in the word "woooorrrrried" isn't too far off the sounds G makes either.

Amazing Hockey Goal!

2009-10-16T17:17:00.000-07:00

Check out this kid, nine years old and what a move!

One Canadian's Take on Weather and Culture Clashes

2009-10-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm out in Toronto this week visiting my sister and her family. When she was last out visiting me in Vancouver in the Spring after Gavin was born, she commented a few times on how the culture of the westcoast is just so totally different than in Toronto. People tend to be a bit more "granola" about life generally from my neck of the woods, from personal health to environmentalism to fashion style. I was just reading a post at Strocel.com by Amber, a Port Moody blogger, on climate change and crafting one's life to embrace simplicity and healthful living. It got me to thinking about why it is that we westcoasters tend to be more crunchy, and I think I've nailed down at least part of the reason.

The weather in the rest of Canada, well, I don't want to say it sucks. Oops, I guess I just did. Let's be more euphemistic and say that it's challenging.

Think about it. In Vancouver, it's easier to put on a sweater in the winter rather than turning up the heat because you won't freeze to death. And you can live without power-sucking central air conditioning in the summer because we have lovely breezes off the ocean. You can wait in the car for someone and not leave it running because, again, you're not likely to lose your toes in the process. You can wear cute yoga pants and little Lulu hoodies because all you need on most winter days to brave the elements is an umbrella, not a down parka, balaclava and snowpants. Organic gardening and eating locally is relatively easy where we are; there are many backyard and community gardens popping up, and we live close to the Fraser Valley and Okanagan. In TO, there's tons of agriculture but it all seems so industrial to me, (a visitor admittedly, but that's my impression), designed to maximize production from a shorter growing season.

Or maybe I'm just wimpy about the cold now that I've lived on the coast for the past 25 years.

Toronto DOES have beautiful fall trees. And a Bath and Bodyworks not too far from here, so there's that.

Drink Urban Lounge

2009-10-12T13:27:00.001-07:00

Check it out...a cool night spot in New Westminster! Located at 609 Columbia St (next to the Starbucks), it's not too clubby, not for geezers, has a good mix of music at just the right volume and sports on the t.v.'s. I liked the variety of drinks, including some old-fashioned sounding ones and they have several drink specials each night of the week. Fantastic ambience, the banquette was very comfortable for our group of ten people. We were there celebrating a birthday and the owner made a homemade birthday cake for us, complete with glowstick candles!
Finally, a hip place to go out without having to travel for half an hour! I am definitely a fan.

It's Flu Season

2009-10-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I've seen this around my house a time or two...

Peanut Allergies

2009-10-09T09:29:00.000-07:00

I went on an excellent field trip yesterday with Trevor and Amy's school. Both of their classes went and it was a really great day (more on that tomorrow). I had a moment, though, with another parent and it's been on my mind ever since...so of course I have to write about it.

There wasn't room for the parents on the bus so we all carpooled and met up at our destination shortly before the bus arrived. As I approached the group, the conversation was around what the parents had packed for their kids to eat, and one mom said she had packed a peanut butter sandwich for her kid. It went something like this:

Mom #1: I packed her a peanut butter sandwich.

Mom #2: Really? Are we allowed to do that, I thought there was a no-nut policy.

Mom #1: Well, they're not actually at the school. Besides, (rolling her eyes) what's the big deal?

Me: Well, you'd better keep your kid away from my kid, since peanuts might make him stop breathing and that's a pretty big deal to me.

Mom #1: Oh really. But that's just like, if he actually eats it, right?

Me: No, it's pretty much if he just touches it. I'm a little sensitive about it since someone offered him a treat at our lacrosse windup in June and he ended up in the hospital. And he even asked if there was peanuts in it.

Mom #2: Well, I'm sure that it was just a trace amount, probably the parent didn't know.

Me: Actually it was a store-bought peanut butter cookie. And since Trevor doesn't ever eat peanuts, he didn't recognize the smell. (Glaring at Mom #1)...so you can understand why I might be a little bit sensitive when it seems like some parents don't really care about my kid's safety from something totally avoidable.

Awkward pause...

Well, then.

This is quite something for me, as I hate conflict and confrontations. But that was just ignorant and careless and selfish, I couldn't let it go.

Weighing out the potential cost to little Timmy having to wait to only eat peanut butter at home vs. the potential loss of life for a child with peanut allergies/anaphylaxis....it's a no-brainer.

I think Mom #1 is now a little bit afraid of me.

Parade of Daily Adventures

2009-09-26T19:23:00.000-07:00

I just read someone's FB update on my newsfeed that said: "When you have kids, Saturdays are just another kind of Monday." Amen to that, sistah!

Today our Parade of Daily Adventures included a 6:00 am 5K run, soccer photos, 2-1/2 hours of dance, a hockey practice, followed by a soccer game...some which was happening at the same time (thanks for helping out today, Mom)! Oh, and breastfeeding a baby wherever he can grab some "booby snacks" (as my friend, Jennifer, calls it).

Now I need a weekend to recover from my Saturday. But tomorrow brings birthday shopping, more soccer pix, soccer "games" for the U7 crowd, and a birthday party...I think we'll order in dinner tomorrow!

Babywearing

2009-09-25T10:22:00.000-07:00

I am a relatively recent convert to babywearing. When I had my first baby, Trevor, he was a whopper! That kid's rolls had their own rolls. By the time he was four months old, I think he was already pretty close to doubling his birth weight. At the time I had an el-cheapo Snugli and I found it soooo terribly uncomfortable. When he was really new, I didn't find it supportive enough for his floppiness. When he was a bit sturdier (about 2 months) I thought it was uncomfortable because Trevor was such a chunky monkey. Of course, now I realize it probably had a lot more to do with its not-so-great design. The straps dug into my neck and shoulder muscles and Trevor was literally hanging, and not in a comfortable sitting position. Honestly, at the time I thought people who would cart their babies around all day in one of those things must be martyrs who were really into having a sore back all the time! So I really didn't bother with it too much when Amy came along. They were so close together that I just went out and got a double stroller and used that any time we were out and about. Which, by the way, wasn't that often because one or the other of them was always napping and I was a slave to the nap schedule.

I realized pretty quickly that things would have to be different this time around. I don't have the luxury of being able to stay home whenever Gavin is asleep. We have a busy family with two school aged kids that need picking up and dropping off at their school, their friends', and their activities. Poor Gavin could very easily spend 80% of his day in a car seat being carted around from place to place. He's such an even tempered kid that he would probably be ok with hanging out in his car seat that much but the idea of this really bothered me.

Shortly after Gavin was born I contacted my friend, Victoria, who I know is an experienced baby-wearer and asked for some advice. She was awesome and let me try out her Cuddlywrap and made a couple of other recommendations for other carriers that work well depending on the situation/setting you're in.

I have three carriers at the moment. I love all three of them for different reasons and in different settings.

1. My Hotsling: I love this one for it's simplicity and versatility. It's basically just a tube of fabric with one curved seam that you fold in half to make a pouch. It comes with an instructional DVD that demonstrates how to fold and the different carries you can use with it. I've used this one since he was tiny and have recently started using it to carry him on my hip now that he has some more trunk strength. The carrier distributes the weight nicely on my skeletal frame rather than sitting only on the muscles, so I can wear him for long periods of time in comfort even though he's getting bigger and heavier. It folds up to nothing and fits nicely in the pouch behind my driver's seat in the van.

2. My Cuddlywrap: I love this one because it really is cuddly, it distributes the weight nicely and he can face in or out. It's made of a stretchy cotton and is essentially a LONG strip of fabric about a foot wide and a few yards long that you wind around your body and tie up. The down side is that all that fabric can be cumbersome when you're out and about; this one is definitely best for around the house. I found it a little intimidating, but the instructional DVD makes it really simple to learn to tie. Hint: tie it pretty snugly! When Gavin was brand new, this one snuggled him up close to my heartbeat and he'd stay there happily for hours. Now that he's a bit bigger he likes to face out while I do stuff around the house.

3. My Babyhawk: This one really is my favourite because it's the most comfortable of all three for wearing long periods of time. It's a Chinese style mei tai carrier that offers excellent support and can be worn on the back or the front (Gavin's not big enough for a back carry yet, but I'm excited to try it this way when he is). You can custom design one on their website with different trim and panel fabrics, pockets or not, reversible or not, toy rings or not, and a warm winter-type liner or not. My Babyhawk was the most expensive of the three that I have at about $125.00, but I feel like I've already gotten my money's worth from it in the past two months! It's not bulky or cumbersome and can fit in my diaper bag and is so handy for places my stroller can't go like muddy soccer fields and hockey rinks with lots of stairs.

Now that I have a few soft carriers that are well-designed and fit properly, I love carrying Gavin around. I often find myself leaving the carseat in the van and plunking him into one of the carriers I have kicking around in the backseat. We get to cuddle and visit as we go about our day and I feel so much closer to him. Gavin gets to participate in conversations WAY more than he does when he's in car seat or a stroller. When I have him in the sling and he's awake, people talk to him. And about him. And he has a much greater awareness of the conversations around him because he's physically at that level. I am no expert, but I think this can only benefit his social and language development.

(There's Gavin in the Cuddlywrap.)
Plus I get way more comments about how cute he is, and who doesn't like that?!

We've Been Disney-fied

2009-09-21T08:02:00.000-07:00

Disney-fied: the process by which little girls become conditioned to believe that things are "good" if they are "beautiful."

Ok, this world-view bias has probably been around a lot longer than Disney and there are multitudes of psychological studies exploring the topic of bias with regard to appearance vs. perception of internal qualities (i.e. race, gender, level of attractiveness, etc.).

But however it happened, Amy has been quite sucked in by it all as evidenced by the following conversation. This happened over the weekend as we were getting over an argument about having her hair brushed:

Amy: Why do you love me?
Me: Oh Amy, you're the best little girl I know. You're smart, and funny, and kind, and great at soccer, and such a good sister...
Me: Why do you love me?
Amy: thinking Well, because you're beautiful.
Me: Really?! Well, thanks Amy, that's a nice compliment to get, but is that the only reason? Like, what if I was in a car accident and my face got all broken up and I didn't look like this anymore. Would you still love me?
Amy: It'd be ok, Mommy, I'd just give you a makeover.

Jeesh!

The Joy of a Sharp Pencil

2009-09-18T19:21:00.001-07:00

I recently installed this very snazzy pencil sharpener, given to me by my mom.

I had no idea it would be such a hit! Amy spent half an hour sharpening every pencil that we could find in the house. I wish I had installed when my mom gave it to us a year ago!

And now I can always find a nice sharp pencil when I need it. :-)

The Obligatory Breastfeeding Post

2009-09-17T11:32:00.000-07:00

There's Gavin on his favourite side...the right one.

Mommy-blogs are rife with posts about breastfeeding. Some may roll their eyes at this, but I think all this sharing of our breastfeeding experiences arises out of a need. In today's society, we are generally more isolated than in generations past; rarely do people have a network of family and friends to share knowledge and experience and offer support in the area of breastfeeding. I know that reading about others' successes and challenges in breastfeeding fed my determination to stick with it, so if my story can help someone else I feel like I should put it out there.

I have three children, and getting started with breastfeeding wasn't easy with any of them. When I thought about how to organize this entry, I started writing it kid-by-kid, but honestly, it was kind of depressing to re-visit it in that kind of detail (and I don't want to scare anyone off breastfeeding). Instead here are some of the challenges I faced in getting started with breastfeeding:

- Latching problems. One thing led to another...fast labour = not as much time to squeeze mucous out of baby's system = not very hungry baby = baby not terribly motivated to latch or to feed vigorously when I did get him/her on.
- Supply problems. Because they weren't latching or feeding much, my breasts weren't being stimulated enough to begin producing milk for several days.
- A vicious cycle started. Eventually they did get hungry but were almost too frantically hungry to get a good latch and feeding rhythm going, and eventually all three of them dropped below the 10% weight loss expected while breastfeeding gets going.
- Add to this a solid bout of post-partum depression after each birth, especially the first and third children, which also fed into and off of the breastfeeding issues.

At the end of the week after they were born, our family was pretty frantic. I was very determined to breastfeed, but incredibly frustrated that it was so difficult to get started.

So here is what helped me:
- Pumping at every feeding (at least every 3 hours) to empty both breasts and stimulate milk production. I found it worked best to latch baby on one side and pump the other (a rented pump from the drugstore is essential!). Then I'd feed the baby whatever expressed breastmilk (EBM) I'd managed to collect.
- Taking 2 capsules of Fenugreek, 3 times per day (second baby) as well as pumping.
- Taking 2 pills of Domperidone, 4 times per day (third baby) as well as pumping.
- Family support. My husband stayed home for a week and half to help with the kids. My in-laws dropped off dinner on more than a few occasions and only stayed briefly. My mom came to my house every morning for eight weeks to walk my two older children to school when my third was born. My mom also recognized my symptoms of depression and supported me in getting to the doctor to get some medical help.
- Friend support. More dinners for the freezer saved my sanity on many a weeknight. Also, offering to take my older kids for playdates - golden!
- "Institutional" support. I was lucky to have all three kids in a health authority that is baby friendly. I was never offered free formula, I was offered a great deal of help with breastfeeding while in hospital, my public health nurses made themselves as available as possible and were very supportive of my efforts to breastfeed, and after my most recent delivery my fantastic doctor made a point of seeing us every week until he was satisfied that we were on our way and my baby was thriving.

Being a breastfeeding mom has been one of the most rewarding experiences of my life and I'm so grateful that I had the help I needed to make it work. I hope that this post helps someone else as much as the reading of blogs that I did helped me.

Tooth Fairies and Other Lies We Tell Our Children

2009-09-13T18:06:00.000-07:00

Amy's first tooth FINALLY fell out on Friday morning. It had been dangling from the tiniest bit of gum for a couple of days but she refused to let us in there to give it a good yank. On Friday morning, she had a great, big sneeze and atchooed it right out, a la Andrew's Loose Tooth by Robert Munsch. She was so thrilled! We made a huge deal about it, put it in an envelope to put under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy and then went about our day. That was my first mistake, I should have put a great big reminder on my pillow before leaving so I'd remember at bedtime...you can see where this is headed.

That evening we were at our friends' house for an evening of poker for the grownups and movies for the kids. I had a glass of wine, and not having had much to drink the past year or so I was definitely a little fuzzy (mistake #2). We didn't get home until after midnight and everyone promptly climbed into their beds and zonked out.

I still had a chance to remember in the morning when Gavin got up wanting to be fed. Alas, I sat on the couch nursing him and watching a PVR'd episode of Glee. I still didn't even clue in when Amy came downstairs with a quivering bottom lip! Talk about a Homer Simpson moment!

I did some quick thinking and came up with an excuse that we got home after midnight so we must have missed her. Then we sent an email to her (really my mom) explaining where we were and asking why she didn't come. My mom is AWESOME! She (the Tooth Fairy) wrote back saying that she was looking all over for us and even clipped a picture of a fairy with a searching expression in her email reply. Thank heavens for Grandma!

The Tooth Fairy did come last night, and she left double the amount in compensation.

I still feel really guilty, though. Why do I keep forgetting this poor kid's major life events? You might remember Kindergarten show and tell last year...? This time mommy guilt looks like a Disney Barbie. Now I just have to try to get it together so I don't forget anything else...

Happy School Year!

2009-09-11T18:34:00.000-07:00

I love back to school time. I was kind of a sucky, goody-two-shoes, rule-following type of kid, so I was pretty much in my element as a young student. I became a little disenchanted with high school (37 absences from Chem 12 by the interim report...ring a bell, Mom?), but I still loved the structure and routine of a new school year. I liked the beginning of school so much that I quit university repeatedly and got to start a new school year three times before I finally decided what to do with my life. And what did I decide...to parlay my love of a new school year into a career - teaching! Now I get to start from scratch not only with shiny new school supplies, but with a fresh bunch of kids ready to craft a school year together with my teaching partner and I.

But the beginning of September can be a really stressful time for a lot of families. This was really driven home to me this week as I watched my own kids and their friends begin the school year. So much worry! Uh-oh, my kid is in the job share class. Uh-oh, my kid is in a split class. Uh-oh, my kid is not with her friend this year. Uh-oh, my kid is in with the "dim" Grade 2's, does that mean he's "dim," too?

I'm in an interesting position as both a parent and a teacher. I find myself making the same reassurances to my friends as I do to the parents of my students. So here is a summary of those reassurances that I hope will set parents' minds at ease:

1. Combined classes are not a bad thing. Notice I used the word combined and not split. Within any given group of children, you have a wide ranges of strengths and talents in a variety of different areas. Whether the children all have their birthday in one calendar year or the next doesn't make much difference to this range (this has always seemed like such an arbitrary division to me, but that's a subject for another blog post). Teachers teach children, not curriculum. In 10 years of teaching, I've yet to meet a teacher who teaches the children in a combined class differently based on the grade they are in. Teachers so their best to meet each child where they are and design instruction that best meets their needs. If anything, the advantage of combined classes is that there is usually a range of maturity that affords children a chance to be role models and learn from each other. Further, having combined classes allows schools to group children together to their advantage, and separate children who need to be apart from each other.

2. If your child is in the upper grade of a combined class, it does not mean that the school thinks they are "dim." I sometimes wish parents could see the process involved in loading classes. It's incredibly complex and usually begins the spring before the beginning of the following school year. We take into account balancing of gender, special needs, ESL, behaviour, friend groups that are socially supportive and should stay together, friend groups that are negative and should be separated for a year, school district staffing allocations, educational assistants and where they can be of maximum effectiveness. There are usually at least four or five different configurations proposed and debated before the staff and principal finally come to an agreement about the best one and can officially organize the school (in my district this does not happen until the first Monday of the school year). If your child is in a combined class, there were probably several reasons why he or she was placed there. If you have concerns about it, the very best thing to do is to have a conversation with the teacher about it...hopefully they can ease your concerns. If you still have them, then at least you've begun a dialogue about it and hopefully the school will work with you to resolve the situation.

3. Having teachers who job share usually works out just fine. Okay, I'm a little biased on this one having been in a fantastic job sharing situation for the past seven years...I've also dealt with this concern A LOT! Most parents are concerned about two things: a) the teachers are only part time, therefore, they are not fully committed to the job at hand, and b) it's confusing and inconsistent for the children to have two teachers. To the former concern, let me assure you that in all the teachers I've ever known who job share, they put way more effort in than their allotted percentage of the position. One principal I know used to say that she really loved having job shares on her staff because you ended up with way more than 1.0 FTE's worth of contribution to the staff and school community. To the latter concern, I can only think of one child out of the 24x7=168 or so that I've taught where he perhaps may have been better off in a situation with one single teacher. Kids work with all kinds of different adults in their lives (parents, coaches, childcare providers) and even within the school often have at least one other "specialist" teacher. They usually adjust to each of these adults' expectations for behaviour based on whatever context they're in. I can't speak for every job share situation, but certainly in mine and those of my close colleagues, we're in frequent communication about classroom issues to ensure that we're being consistent in our philosophy and practice. One added benefit of having your child in a class with a job share is that the children get to work with people who may have different strengths; for instance, I am passionate about teaching science in a very hands-0n way (more than my partner), and she is passionate about developing social responsibility through her personal planning and social studies lessons (fantastically, I might add). Plus, we always have someone to bounce ideas off and brainstorm with who knows the workings of our classroom and students inside-out. There are also advantages to having a single teacher; one situation isn't necessarily better than the other, they're just a bit different.

4. Your school is there to help support your child's learning journey, and that includes your input. You are your child's first educator. Of course you know them better than anyone. Parental input is crucial, and most teachers and principals welcome you it. With email, teachers are more accessible than ever these days. I routinely give out my cell phone number and email address to the parents in my class just in case they have a class-related question and it's never been a problem yet. I would never want a child to go to be worried about something that could have been cleared up with a quick phone call at 8:30 pm. A word of advice, though, 9:00 am drop-off time is not a good time to start having a conversation with the teacher as we're usually about to start the important work of providing an excellent program for your kids!

So take a deep breath and head into the school year expecting the best. Chances are your child will follow your lead and it will be a great one.

Shrinking Jill - revised

2009-09-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

If you've been reading this blog since the beginning you will remember that I used to track my weight loss journey under the heading, Shrinking Jill. You may have also noticed that I haven't posted that for a while because, well, I didn't do much shrinking over the summer. I didn't gain much, but I sure didn't lose any weight either.
Health has been on mind a lot lately so I decided I needed a new focus for motivation. Not so much on shrinking, but more on being a healthy weight. I'll be especially prone to Type II diabetes having had gestational diabetes three times (insulin dependent all three times), so maintaining a healthier weight is really crucial for me.
And guess what...just keeping that in mind, I've lost 6 lbs. in the last 2 weeks! I am keeping in mind that I can make healthy choices about eating and I'm really trying to get to bed at a reasonable hour (before the crazy late night snacking sets it). I'm now almost where I was at before I got pregnant (a couple more pounds) and the jeans I bought in May are now too big...talk about motivating! And the routine of the school year is really helping, too.
Now to try to work the exercise back in...that's the hardest part for me! Got any tips? I'd love to hear them...

Looooong Weekend!

2009-09-06T20:47:00.000-07:00

I decided to hit Seattle Premium Outlets this weekend to do some back-to-school shopping...actually, I had planned to go mid-week last week to avoid the crowds, but my plans changed drastically with my m-i-l's recent passing. My family needed me more than the Gymboree outlet. Anyway, Gavin and I packed up our stuff and headed south to the outlet mall, along with about a million other people. I was fully prepared to deal with crowds of people and wasn't at all in a hurry. All in all, it was a successful day and I got most of the stuff on my list.
One big pet peeve from the day, though...why oh why can't they leave enough room in the stores where they sell children/baby clothes for people to maneuver with a stroller?! I can see avoiding the super-hip fashion stores, and don't even bother going into a shoe store, but Carter's? Gymboree? Oshkosh? I couldn't move in there with my stroller without knocking stuff off the racks. Normally I'd wear Gavin and carry the diaper bag and stuff if it was a shorter shopping trip, but this was the mucho-shop of the year, so the stroller was a necessity.
Anyway, the whole weekend has felt a little bit looooong. We're in Birch Bay and the weather is pretty sucky so the kids are going a bit stir crazy. It's a great place for kids when the weather is good but murder when it's not. And I feel like our whole family is in limbo until my m-i-l's Celebration of Life happens on Tuesday. And then we're right back into the swing of things.
We had some lovely times together this summer, as a family. And we had some really difficult times, dealing with cancer. I'm just not sure I'm ready to be thrust right back into the craziness of the school year and activities...

To my Mother-in-Law

2009-08-31T13:54:00.000-07:00

Thank you.
Thank you for welcoming me so warmly into your family when I married your son.
Thank you for teaching me that even if you're not a great golfer, anyone can putt and win some money.
Thank you for sharing your unfinished crossword puzzles with me.
Thank you for offering to have us for dinner on Mondays when I was frazzled and busy from being at work all day.
Thank you for cherishing your grandkids.
Thank you for making Birch Bay a highlight of my kids' summer memories.
Thank you for sharing a daily 4:00 glass of wine, Oprah, and a chat when we visited you in Palm Springs.
Thank you for raising such an incredible man.
Thank you for showing me that family is to be valued above all else.
Thank you for your incredible generosity of time, spirit, and love.

Even though you're not here with us physically anymore, I still feel your presence with us.
We love you and we will miss you always.

May the Farm Be With You...

2009-08-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to shop organic more often lately even though it's a bit more expensive. I've heard that there's not much difference nutritionally than commercially produced food, but I figure that the fewer pesticides our family consumes the better.

I saw this little short at Telus World of Science when we were there last year and loved it! The kids who are nuts for Star Wars loved it, too, and they're secretly getting the message about "the Farm."

Africa - Amazing!!

2009-08-13T20:11:00.000-07:00

If You Need a Laugh...

2009-08-13T17:49:00.000-07:00

This is hilarious! Randene Neill, our local noonhour Global anchor, gets lurrrrvvvved by a doggie named Ginger and never loses her cool. Enjoy!

***Did you notice that Randene seems to have forgotten real shoes on this particular day?

The Inevitable Santa Question Dodged - For Now!

2009-08-13T09:52:00.001-07:00

Trevor is 7. Amy is 5. It was bound to come up eventually.
We're in the van on our way to pick up a couple of friends for a playdate. The subject of toys comes up...

Me: We're going to go to Toys R Us later to pick up a couple more low booster seats for the van.
Trevor: But we're not getting any more toys right? 'Cuz we already have too many, right? (hoping beyond hope that I'll disagree with him)
Amy: Yeah, but Santa has to bring us toys, right Mommy? Right?
Me: Uh huh, but Christmas is still a long way away.
Trevor: Santa isn't even real, Amy.
Me: <holding my breath, waiting to see where this goes...>
Amy: What? Yes he is.
Trevor: No he isn't. He's....a ghost.
Me: <exhaling quietly>
Amy: What?! Then what about when we saw him at the golf club last year. Remember, he brought me that fluffy puppy in the purse? Right, Mommy? Remember?
Me: That's right, Aim.
Trevor: That was just a man in a costume.
Me: <taking a deep breath> Well, at that time of year the real Santa is super busy at the North Pole getting ready for Christmas Eve. So he has helper Santas who look like him all over the place. Like at all the malls. <Trevor looks a little relieved to hear this.>
Amy: But how do they get the toys before Christmas?
Me: <getting in deeper, trying to be vague on the details with my child who never forgets ANYTHING!> Well, he sends them.
Amy: Like how, in the mail?
Me: Well...
Trevor: Well, he's magic, Amy. That's how. <So much for the non-believer.>
Me: So, what do you guys want to play with Maddie and Sydney? <trying to steer the conversation away before we pick them up and they undo whatever Santa stories their mom has told them...>

So, how have you handled the Santa question at your house? I wasn't expecting to have to deal with it in the middle of August!!

Normalizing Breastfeeding

2009-08-10T20:59:00.001-07:00

With my third baby, I've become much more passionate and rooted in my belief about the power of breastfeeding and the need to normalize it as much as possible. I really struggled to get established in breastfeeding all three of my children but it was so worth all the tears and effort of pumping (more on that in a future blog post). My point is that it can be difficult enough without the added negativity and judgment that many people put on women who breastfeed in public.

That's why I was outraged when I read this article on foxnews.com.

Controversial Doll Lets Little Girls Pretend to Breast-Feed
Wednesday, August
05, 2009 By Jessica Doyle

Bebe
Gloton means "gluttonous baby." She comes with a special halter top for young
girls to wear as they pretend to breast-feed.
A controversial new doll is
leaving some parents wishing for the good old Cabbage Patch days.
A Spanish
toymaker known as Berjuan has developed a breast-feeding doll that comes with a
special halter top its young "mothers" wear as they pretend to breast-feed their
"babies." The halter top has daisies that cover the little girls’ nipples and
come undone just as easily as the flaps of a nursing bra would.
The doll —
called Bebe Gloton, which translates as “gluttonous baby” — makes sucking noises
as it "feeds."
Click here to see Bebe Gloton on 'FOX & Friends.'
Like
many other dolls, Bebe Gloton can cry, signaling she wants more
milk.
Although many health care providers promote the benefits of
breast-feeding, parents around the world have criticized Berjuan, saying the
idea of breast-feeding is too grown-up for young children -- and may even
promote early pregnancy.

"That's not cool," Lori Reynolds, of El Paso,
Texas, told KFOXTV.com. "No, I would never get that for my child."
But
other moms said they support the product.
"I think that it’s great that
people want to have a doll that promotes breast-feeding,” said Rose Haluschak,
also of El Paso. “Most dolls that are purchased come with a bottle. That is the
norm in society, an artificial way to feed your baby.”
Dr. Manny Alvarez,
managing health editor of FOXNews.com, said although he supports the idea of
breast-feeding, he sees how his own daughter plays with dolls and wonders if
Bebe Gloton might speed up maternal urges in the little girls who play
it.
“Pregnancy has to entail maturity and understanding,” Alvarez said. “It’s
like introducing sex education in first grade instead of seventh or eighth
grade. Or, it could inadvertently lead little girls to become traumatized. You
never know the effects this could have until she’s older.”
Alvarez said
breast-feeding reduces childhood infections, strengthens maternal bonding and
increases the child’s immune system. But introducing breast-feeding to girls
young enough to play with dolls seems inappropriate, he said.
“What’s next?”
wrote Eric Ruhalter, a parenting columnist for New Jersey’s Star Ledger. “Bebe Sot — the doll who has a problem with a
different kind of bottle, and loses his family, job and feelings of self-worth?
Bebe Limp — the male doll who experiences erectile dysfunction? Bebe Cell Mate —
a weak, unimposing doll that experiences all the indignation and humiliation of
life in prison?
"Toy themes should be age appropriate. I think so
anyway.”

I have so many problems with the opposition to a toy such as this cited in this article (unforrtunate translation of the name aside...):

1. "Breastfeeding is too grown up for young children and may even promote early pregnancy." But playing mommy by feeding a doll with a pretend bottle is somehow less adult? Only if you view breastfeeding as a sexually charged activity. Along this line of faulty logic, playing with cars might promote underage driving? Ridiculous.

2. Alvarez's comments as a doctor are totally alarming to me....speeding up maternal urges? Pregnancy and breastfeeding could traumatize little girls? No sex ed until they are in Grade 7 or 8?! Children as young as preschool age need to know about body science, pregnancy, and birth; breastfeeding should be part and parcel of that education (for more on this read here, and here). The last thing seeing or playing at breastfeeding should be is traumatizing. If anything, it would go a long way to normalizing breastfeeding and desexualizing breasts.

3. Unrelated to the article specifically, but as more of a comment on society...why is it not okay to facilitate children's play at a non-sexual activity such as breastfeeding but it's okay to let our little girls dress up like "prostitots?"

4. Ruhalter's equating breastfeeding with alcoholism, erectile dysfunction, and life in prison is just plain insulting to all nursing moms. Playing at feeding a baby is completely developmentally appropriate for young children. That's why they make dolls, play-dishes, and bottles; this is just one more way to feed a baby.

A toy such as this is, of course, not even really necessary at all. Just ask Amy. Shortly after I came home with Gavin, she sat down next to me with her Baby Alive (whose pretend bottle has been long lost) , discreetly lifted her shirt up a little, and "breastfed" her doll alongside me (once I finally got Gavin latching and settled into breastfeeding). Trevor brought over a pillow for her to rest her elbow on, like he'd seen Dave do for me.

And no-one discouraged them one bit.

Ah, Sweet Music

2009-08-10T20:53:00.000-07:00

I came across this at Bacon is My Enemy, and I just loved it. Music is math, music is science, music is unifying, music is universal.
Music is magic.

World Science Festival 2009: Bobby McFerrin Demonstrates the Power of the Pentatonic Scale from World Science Festival on Vimeo.

Look What I Grew!

2009-08-08T12:02:00.000-07:00

I planted some raspberry plants a couple of years ago and forgot about them. So imagine my surprise when I tackled my semi-annual gardening and came across these little tidbits! They are lovely and juicy and sweet.

If you know me and my gardening prowess (HA!), you'll appreciate how miraculous it is that these have lived in spite of me.

After a Trying Day...

2009-08-06T10:10:00.000-07:00

It was a trying day with my darling daughter yesterday. My mom tells me Trevor went through a similar phase at five years old, but it's hard to remember when he seems (mostly) so reasonable now at seven. Compounding her five-year-old-ness, Amy's also dealing with her middle-child "stuff." Running down the list of challenges for yesterday:

- she threw Trevor's Spiderman car and broke it

- tried to slam the basement door in his face so he couldn't come upstairs

- woke Gavin up from settling down to TWO of his naps yesterday, one of which he couldn't get back to sleep

- refused to eat her pasta at dinner. This is nothing new, but I made her favourite kind and picked all the veggies and shrimp out of it, only to have her declare, "Yuck. I am NOT eating this."

- broke a lame little string of beads I won at Blackjack in Vegas last year, but they were blue and therefore, Trevor's. This had the intended effect of making him cry.

So when she asked me at bedtime:

"Mommy, why do you love me?" I had to dig deep and put aside the challenges of the day. I hugged her and listed off all of her wonderful qualities. I mean, look at her. How could you not?

As Seen on TV

2009-08-05T12:47:00.000-07:00

I received no fee or compensation for this...
This thing really works! I've never been one for regular pedicures. Occasionally I've had one done for a treat, but generally, my feet have been pretty neglected. I recently took this neglect to new heights during my pregnancy when I couldn't reach my feet for more months than I'd care to admit. Socks were a struggle, shoes with laces out of the question, so I pretty much wore flipflops for much of the winter. Eventually I couldn't even get those on to the balloon-like appendages at the bottom of my "cankles," so I resigned myself to wearing slippers for the final few weeks.
Anyway, in that period of time my feet went from looking mildly unkept to becoming downright hoof-like. The demands of a busy family of five (one of whom was a newborn) made my poor, callused feet worse and I just didn't have the time or money for a pedi. I had pretty much accepted the fact that my kids would recoil in horror if accidentally brushed by the edge of my foot and that I might need to call in a farrier every now and then, when I came across this little gem.
I found it at London Drugs for around $14 or so. I went at my feet for about half an hour and finally reached skin that had some sensation! I finished that off with a whack of Vaseline before bed topped off with some old socks (tres sexy, I know) and the next morning - normal looking and feeling feet!

Much Ado About Save-on Foods

2009-08-03T22:08:00.001-07:00

I have to say I was really looking forward to the new Save-On Foods opening up at Westminster Centre. I was hoping to see them give our two local Safeways a bit of price competition. And when you're a mom with young kids, an efficient and pleasant grocery shopping experience is a major event of any given week. Alas, I was greatly underwhelmed by my recent visit.

First of all, it's too small. Way too small. Like they tried to fit an entire grocery store in a space two-thirds the size of a normal grocery store. Each department on the perimeter of the store is like a miniature version of a real grocery store, but with all the "stuff" still crammed into every nook and cranny. The lack of space is also an issue down the aisles as it's difficult to pass two grocery carts past each other. Also, there is not nearly enough room to accomodate lineups, much less allow the shopping "traffic" to swing around the end of the aisles near the checkouts.

As for service, I had two cheerful manager-types greet my children and I, and the clerk in the bakery offered my daughter a cookie without us having to lurk around the counter. However, I noticed several of the younger clerks fooling around and they seemed more interested in visiting than getting customers through the checkout.

I opted for the self-serve checkout as the line seemed easier to access and I only had a few items. I always chuckle a bit at the notion of self-serve checkouts like it's a trick or something...sure, I'll check out and bag my own groceries, got any shelves you want me to stock while I'm at it? But whatever, it seemed like less of a hassle and we got through relatively quickly.

I went there needing to pick up 3 or 4 items and had intended to also grab a few of the weekly essentials while I was there. After trying to negotiate the tight spaces, however, I gave up and only picked up the three necessities deciding it wasn't worth the hassle of playing shopping cart-bumper cars just to save a couple of bucks.

I liked the covered parking (not such an issue now, but very nice when our winter monsoons arrive), and Amy got a kick out of the escalator for the shopping carts. My mom reported to me, however, that on her recent visit the escalator wasn't working so you couldn't get the carts up and down, so on that day she opted to only pick up a couple of things rather than doing the bulk of her shopping.

The verdict: I won't be rushing back there to do my shopping on a regular basis, though it might be a handy stop to pick up the odd necessity while I'm waiting for Amy while she's at dance nearby (starting this fall). It looks to me like they tried to do too much with too little and really missed the mark.

Carnival of Maternity Leave, part 2

2009-08-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

My original post from a few weeks ago got picked up by Amber - yay! Check it out on her blog, strocel.com, as well as her many other funny and thought provoking previous posts.

And now for something a little lighter

2009-08-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

Posting has been a little light this week as we've had some heavy family stuff going on. This made me laugh, though...enjoy!

***wear headphones if kids or your boss are in the room, nsfw***

Granola

2009-07-26T22:27:00.000-07:00

I didn't realize what a granola-crunchin' mom I've become until this weekend! This was highlighted by two incidents:

1. We are in the middle of a potentially record-breaking heat wave in Vancouver. The temperature is hovering between 30 and 36 degrees Celsius and with the humidity feels like closer to 40. As a result, Gavin is super thirsty and is wanting to nurse very frequently. I've become very comfortable with breastfeeding since having my first baby 7 years ago. I'll feed him pretty much anywhere, anytime without a great deal of fussing over covering up. Anyway, Gavin was fussing and wanting to go on the breast, so I took him from my hubby and went to get him latched. My hubby very thoughtfully handed me a receiving blanket to cover up, as I would have done with my first two kids. However, I realized I am long past feeling the need to hide my baby's head under a blanket (which he now would just rip off anyway), especially since the thought of sitting under another layer fabric when I'm already cuddled up and nursing just about slays me! So I just got him latched and fed him as we sweated it out au naturel.

2. I can't find my hotsling! I had no idea how fond I've become of babywearing until I can't find my effing hotsling. I used it to wear Gavin yesterday, but Dave was driving so when we got back to the van I carried the sling in my hand instead of stashing it in its usual hidey-hole, and now I can't find it anywhere! Not that I'm superkeen to be cuddled up unnecessarily in this heat, but it's so handy in so many situations, not the least of which is when he's fussing to be carried around right before sleepytime and I've got other stuff I need to get done. Love the free hands!

This also goes back to my last post on touch. I didn't wear my first two kids much. I only had a Snugli that I found very uncomfortable to wear, especially since Trevor was such a huge baby. My friend Victoria, however, has had a ton of experience with different baby carriers and was such a devoted fan of them I decided to give it a try with marvelous results! Love the hotsling, though I can see that it may get a little bit uncomfortable to wear G in front as he gets heavier. I also got a cuddlywrap which I also love. It's better for around the house as it is super long and a bit more difficult to deal with tying on when I;m out and about. It's even more comfortable than the hotsling so I use that when I know I'll be wearing him for a longer period of time i.e. watching a lacrosse game.
Finally, I just ordered a babyhawk mei tai and I can't wait for it to arrive (especially since I can't find my effing hotsling)! More on that when it gets here.

Touch

2009-07-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

This may sound weird, but one of the things I love most about being a mom is getting to have more human touch in my life.

It seems to me that as we get older, we feel more inhibited about sharing touch with other people. This mostly serves us well, as it wouldn't do to go around cuddling up to the person in front of you in the food court line-up at the mall. But it gets very easy to become physically isolated even when you're in a crowd: driving in a car, sitting at a cubicle, watching a movie or sporting event, for instance.

Even in my family-of-origin (mom, dad, sister), we hug and kiss on the cheek for a salutation, but don't go around holding hands or stroking each others' hair or anything (and that's ok, because that would be seriously weird, at least for us). Of course, there's some nice touching involved with having a husband (wink wink - my mom reads this, so I'll leave it at that), but making time for that with three young kids can be a little challenging. And that leaves me with salutation touches from him, too. The other day we were out for a walk as the kids rode their bikes and Gavin was in the sling and we held hands as we walked. I couldn't remember the last time we did that, because our hands are usually busy carrying hockey bags or pushing a stroller or wrangling kids. It was nice.

I digress. My point was about getting touch from kids. I love the bedtime cuddles, the morning hugs, the hand holding, the hair stroking, the booboo mending, the assistance with personal grooming, all that stuff that goes along with being a mom. I have to say that before Gavin came along, I took for granted being able to be physically affectionate with my two older kids (Trevor, 7; and Amy, 5). With Gavin, he's so into touching and grabbing and feeling at my hands and arms and face and hair because I'm not sure he even knows he's his own person yet. All the touching I get from him has really driven home how much Trev and Amy have grown up. They are developing their own boundaries about how comfortable they are with touch from the people in their lives who love them. Those boundaries are, of course, crucial for them to develop their sense of self and to maintain their personal safety. But as a mom it's tough to be held at arm's length when you want to comfort a child who's angry at you for saying no, or who doesn't want a hug/kiss goodbye in front of his friends anymore.

It makes me treasure the physical affection they do share with me. For each of them it's different: Gavin physically needs me in order to survive so we're really intensely linked right now. Amy vascillates between needing to have me (intensely) when she wants me and wanting to be able to do everything without me. Trevor appreciates parallel closeness, by that I mean sitting down beside him and maybe putting an arm around his shoulders, but I now get a brush off when he's trying to be tough and not cry when he's hurt (I always tell him it's ok to cry, but I am no match for societal forces, it seems). They all have varying degrees of comfort with sharing touch with me. For now, I will treasure whatever they will give because I know that before I know it we'll be mostly into the salutation hugs and kisses.

Ouch.

2009-07-22T14:17:00.000-07:00

So I've been walking a lot lately in an effort to get back into something resembling a shape - as opposed to a blob. Thanks to my wonderful mom who comes over on a nearly daily basis, I am able to go out and walk sans kids for an hour at least a few times a week. Recently I've been feeling like I need to hit the next gear and start working out harder and with more purpose.

Today I decided to use the time my mom gives me to dust off my gym membership card and reacquaint myself with an aerobics class. My schedule was way out of date, though, so imagine my surprise when I arrived at a bootcamp class rather than my safe and trusty old step class. I briefly toyed with the idea of watching the class from the elliptical trainer, but then I thought, ah, why not.

Good lord. I don't hurt yet, but I surely will tomorrow. Three minute intervals of cardio paired with pushups, weight training, and abs abs abs. Have I mentioned that my "abs" currently resemble something as loose and drapey as something you might run up a flagpole? Red-faced, panting, dripping with sweat was I. I tried playing the "this is my first real post-baby workout" card, but the instructor was having none of that. At the end she jokingly said, "Anyone feel like they might puke? Haha."

Haha indeed.

Five Cool Things

2009-07-19T19:30:00.000-07:00

1. The British Open. Fantastic.
2. The Bumbo baby-sitter. We just got one for Gavin and he really likes being up so he can see what's happening.
3. Flying kites by the sea in Birch Bay (sorry I forgot my camera this weekend).
4. Fresh seasonal fruit in the summer. This week I resolve to get to the Royal City Farmer's Market; somehow I haven't made it yet but I definitely will this week.
5. Lazy summer days with no scheduled activities.

Carnival of Maternity Leave

2009-07-15T22:24:00.000-07:00

This blog post is in response to my friend, Victoria's post about which was written in response to her friend, Amber's request for stories about maternity leave.

The first word that comes to my mind as I recall applying for maternity leave is not so much "carnival"... more like "gong show," really. I was completely stymied when applying for maternity leave all three times, and I'm not quite sure why. I'd like to consider myself a reasonably intelligent person, perhaps a little finanicially challenged, but it seems I have a serious mental block when it comes to filling out any sort of government forms.

When on mat leave with my first, Trevor, I buggered up the application. I still don't really understand what I did wrong; maybe I only applied for maternity and not parental benefits, or maybe I omitted a 2 week report before I was approved to be exempt from reporting. Anyway, when Trevor was about 4 months old and the sleep deprivation was starting to be somewhat less paralyzing, I noticed that all of sudden we were totally broke. It wasn't until I checked our bank account history online that I figured out that EI had cut me off. I had to do a written appeal and go down to the office with my nurse-around-the-clock first baby to suck up to a Service Canada agent in person. I eventually got reinstated to receive the remainder of those benefits but lost out on that month of benefits that I missed without realizing it.

My mat leave for Amy came hard on the heels of my first mat leave. I had gone back half-time and summer fell in the middle of my pregnancy so it was going to be pretty tight to make the 600 hours in order to qualify for benefits. I called EI to ask how many hours per day teachers are considered to work and was told 9.1 hours per day. I figured out when I wanted to go on mat leave and realized that I would need to TOC on most of my off-days for the entire fall (essentially working full time) in order reach the magical number of 600 hours. No problem. I actually quite enjoyed TOC-ing and figured I could get the hours in with about a two weeks to spare. I went off on mat leave, Amy arrived a week or so early and a week after that I received a notice saying my claim was denied!!! My SD calculated my number of hours based on some daily average formula and I only had 596 hours. That's right. I was short by 4 measly hours. I plunked the Wiggles DVD on repeat in the machine and set on repeat for Trevor, stuck Amy on my breast and sat on the phone for the better part of an entire day with my SD and EI and learned that I could still qualify for benefits if I worked one more day and then reapplied. Yes, you read that right. I had to go back to work for one day with bursting boobies, a two week old baby that nursed about 25 times per day, and an 18 month old who really couldn't get enough of Mommy at that point. Gong show. Truly. I eventually did qualify for the rest of my benefits, but lost out on those first three weeks just in time for Christmas. Ho ho ho.

This is my third time on maternity leave and I did manage to get the application in successfully this time, but I was definitely a little skittish about it...is my last day worked really the last day I was at work, or is it the last day of that work week?...what about Spring Break, it's a paid holiday?...blahblahblah. I even have access to someone who works for Service Canada who cannot and would not handle any specifics of my claim but who I could call and ask questions (rather than waiting on hold for half a day) about filling out my application. I had to call him multiple times and was still confused. Don't even get me started on the paperwork involved for my district pay the top-up benefits for the first 15 weeks, none of which can be done until after the baby is born and you're completely sleep-deprived!

So, the first change I'd like to see is a simplification and de-bureaucratization of the application process. If I feel frustrated and confused by it and I'm a generally competent and well-educated person, I can't imagine how someone who is socio-economically disadvantaged would cope with some of the hurdles I encountered. Ideally, I'd like to see maternity leave benefits better funded by the federal government for a longer period of time, however, in the current economic climate that's not likely to happen anytime soon. Our family is really penny-pinching this year and we have two incomes; I don't know how a single mom would be able to make a go of it living in the Lower Mainland and relying on maternity benefits. The 50 weeks we currently have is certainly better than what it used to be in the '90's (6 months), but I'd really like to see it extended to two years.

For all my griping about getting off the ground with EI, I really am grateful to have been able to spend that full year with all three of my babies. This time around, I am really appreciating the time I have not only with Gavin but also supporting Trevor and Amy through the transition as we all settle into being a family of five. I am really trying to be in the moment of enjoying this time with my children and not stressing about how fast it's going by and how we'll all have to re-adjust when the time runs out and I'm back to work again.

Yummy Snacks

2009-07-13T10:02:00.000-07:00

Snack #1: Mango Smoothie
1 cup frozen mango
1 cup skim milk
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 pkg. Splenda
Blend it up and enjoy. 4 points

Snack #2: Brownie Bran Muffins
3 cups All Bran cereal (or generic cquivalent)
3 cups water
1-1/2 tsp. baking powder
1 box Betty Crocker Low-Fat Brownie mix
Mix cereal and water in a bowl and let sit for 10 minutes.
Add baking powder and brownie mix, stir well.
Pour into muffin cups. (makes 24 small but tasty muffins)
Bake at 350 for 20-25 minutes.
These freeze well and are only 1 point!!! I take a couple out and blast them in the micro when I'm jonesing for some chocolate.

I realize I may get punched in the nose, but...

2009-07-12T19:29:00.001-07:00

Gavin is sleeping through the night! And he has been for a while now, but I've been careful not to tell any brand-new moms for fear of the rage and/or insane jealousy that may come my way in the form of a right hook. Plus I didn't want to jinx it, but it has been six weeks of steadily sleeping 10 - 11 hours at night so I think it's safe to say that he's a good sleeper. He even slept well while we were away in Birch Bay this weekend!
Now that I've gone and shared that little tidbit, you watch, he'll go and start getting some teeth or something.

Shrinking Jill

2009-07-10T11:53:00.000-07:00

I am the tortoise. Slow and steady. Remember, the guy who ends up winning the race?
In eight weeks I've lost eight pounds, which is exactly the rate at which WW says moms who are nursing exclusively should lose weight.
I really want my next 5 lb. star, maybe this Tuesday...?

Five Cool Things

2009-07-10T11:50:00.000-07:00

1. I can see!!!!
2. Swimming ends today, I'm pretty sure the kids will pass, and we have almost nothing scheduled next week.
3. I have the best, most helpful and supportive mommy in the world.
4. Dave is back tonight...we really missed him!
5. A tall coffee frappuccino light is only 2 points on Weight Watchers.

Post Surgery, Part II

2009-07-09T12:26:00.000-07:00

Surgery was Monday.
Tuesday was uncomfortable but ok.
Wednesday was EXCRUCIATING! That whole no-touch thing...well there is some touching after all, and it involves scraping off a layer of one's cornea. Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouchie, ouch ouch!
But,
They give you good drugs which I relented and finally took last night (don't worry, I "pumped and dumped..."). After a good sleep with my eyes firmly closed for most of the night, I'm doing much better today.
So here we are at Thursday, still a bit hazy and blurry, but no longer hiding under the navy blue fleece blanket with sunglasses on and blinds drawn.

I really can't wait until my eyes clear up a bit more and I get these bandage contacts off.

Well, that's all my eyes can take for today.

Post Surgery

2009-07-07T19:54:00.001-07:00

Details to follow...
Good post-surgical activities to do with one's eyes closed:
- nursing
- listening to CBC Radio
- listening to CKNW and yelling at the callers who bash teachers (not actually on the phone, but out loud to the empty room).
- practicing piano scales (muscle memory is an amazing thing).
Bad post-surgical activities:
- Facebook
- blogging
- anything related to looking at a screen

In fact, my eyes are screaming at me already. Bye for now.