Sleeping

I now remember how when your kids are not sleeping how all-consuming it is and how it feels like it will never end. You ramble on and on giving minute by minute accounts of how last night's bedtime went to the cashier at Safeway because it is your sole preoccupation in your sleep-deprived state. I have also been on the other end of those conversations in times in my life that my kids were sleeping and politely nodded while thinking to myself, "Jeez, get some perspective, it's only a little sleep and it can't last like this forever." And as I recall having thought that, I'd like to go back in time and punch my well-rested self in the nose. Because it really is that bad when you're not getting enough sleep!

Now I have these conversations with myself having been through, like, three whole weeks of sleep issues with Gavin. (I know there are many people who suffer through this for YEARS with babies/toddlers who don't sleep or let their parents sleep, so don't hate me.) At times these past weeks, I felt so angry, frustrated and sad that Gavin wouldn't just go to sleep already. Then my intellectual self would try to reason with me that this struggle wouldn't last forever, in fact it might only last a couple more nights. But my sleep-deprived emotional self just couldn't deal with it.

I tried the No-Cry Sleep Solution and for us, it just wasn't a good fit. I lack the patience required to gently re-shape sleep behaviour and was just becoming totally resentful and even more sleep deprived. So we did cry-it-out. With the boys sharing a room I just needed Gavin to figure out how to get himself to sleep and quickly. The first two nights were tough to listen to, about 20 minutes of full-on crying both nights. And ever since? A minute or two of squawking, and then peaceful sleep, for naps and night sleep! He is napping better which has in turn improved his night sleep; I've had to make a commitment to do what I can in terms of activities and scheduling to support his naps during the day...not easy with two other busy kids! Night waking was becoming an issue for us where it totally hadn't been before AT ALL. Since he's figured out how to get himself to sleep, he's better at getting himself back to sleep at night without me.

I have no judgment on parents and their sleeping arrangements; people have to do what works best for their family and parenting style. For us this is what worked.

If you're interested, here is what his sleep schedule seems to have settled into:

7:00 - wakes up
10:00 - naps
11:30 or 12:00- wakes up
2:30 - naps
3:30 or 4:00 - wakes up
7:00 - bedtime
11:00 ish, wakes up and I feed him one last time. And then I get to have some sleep!

** You might notice the time stamp on this entry...I'm up not because of Gavin, but poor Trevor who has been inflicted with Barf-o-Rama making the rounds at our house again. Gavin actually got himself back to sleep after that whole commotion at 4:00 am!